She made me wait almost 4 years for s*x but slept with another guy in a week.
I'm kind of having a mental breakdown at the moment so my words may not make sense.
I was in a relationship with my (now ex I guess) girlfriend for 5 years. We didn't have sex until we were 4 years in because she wanted to wait until it felt right. I respected it wholeheartedly.
Of course I wanted to but I loved her more than I wanted to have sex with her an I waited until she blatantly told me she was ready (and dragged me to the bedroom herself).
Just in January, she told me she wanted to take a step back from our relationship and said she wasn't in the right mind space to be with me. I was hurt but she assured me that she loved me and would be with me again when she got her mind right. We remained friends and talked daily. I was excited for the day we could get back together.
At the beginning of the month, she started ranting to me about this "gross" guy in her friend circle who wouldn't stop hitting on her and looking at her body. Called him a f**kboy etc. I was annoyed and told her to stay away from a weirdo like that. She told me she would and called him a creep etc.
And then a couple of days later she calls me to tell me they just had sex. She was saying she didn't know how it happened, it happened so fast, she couldn't believe she did it, etc. I was shattered but wanted to at least make sure it was consensual and she said it was "but she wasn't thinking straight". I was shaking all over, nauseous, the nine yards. She called me while I was headed to take a major test. I somehow managed to take it but as soon as I was done, I ran outside of the classroom as threw up. She had sent me multiple texts apologizing saying it "meant nothing" and that's she's just in a bad place. I told her I couldn't speak to her at the moment.
What she did hurts but how she did it hurts most. How could she have done this with a guy she barely knew? Such a creepy one at that. How could she have done this so easily when she took her sweet time with me? I feel disgusted and angry.
There's so much rage. A part of me feels guilty about how I feel since I know she didn't owe me sex and owns her own body, I'm not usually anywhere close to a misogynist but why is this such a slap in the face? I feel like my heart was bitch-slapped.
Am I wrong to be angry about this?
Please I need your candid opinions on this.