Dad jokes😂

1. Shout out to my mom...Cos that's the only way she can hear me🥲
2. My wife asked me to pass her lipstick and I handed her a glue stick... She's still not talking to me😔
3. I once listened to an internet advise and childproofed my house just like they said... Somehow the kids still got in😩
4. Why are pirates called pirates... They just arrrghh😂
5. My wife accused me for having no empathy... I just don't understand why she feels that way🤣
6. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know "Y"😉
7. How do you make an eggroll... You push it🤷
8. What do you call an old snowman... A glass of water🙄
9. I haven't talked to my wife in a week... I just didn't want to interrupt her🤦
10. I was going to tell a sodium joke, then I thought... Na! 👩‍🔬
11. How is my wallet similar to an onion... 'Cos anytime I open it, I cry😭
12. I went to the aquarium this weekend but I didn't stay long... There's something fishy about that place🙃
13. So I was reading this book about anti-gravity, I mean... It's just so hard to put down😄
14. Where do you take someone who was injured in a peekaboo accident... The "I C U"😁
15. My uncle told me that some alligators can grow up to 15 feet. It's just... I've never seen one with more than 4🤤😂
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