if Any one had told me I’d be a driver 👀👀
Last year, if anyone had told me that I’d be a driver, I would have laughed at them
But look at me now, this is my 5th month as a lawyer in the morning and bolt driver at night
Economy choke so I had to put my Corolla to good use and everything was running smoothly
Nobody knew except my wife and my mechanic until one day my neighbor, Amarachi, who I don’t even talk to, ordered a ride and satan chose me!
I said satan cos God cannot forsake his children.
I usually don’t check names and even if I had, I wouldn’t have known it was her cos we’re not even close and her flat is the building opposite mine. I’m in No 34B and she’s in 36A.
I accepted cos the destination was actually my bus stop. I was excited when I saw the request as I just turned on the app after work.
I drove to the location and when I got there I called the number displayed on the app.
The voice was beautiful, so I waited and a few minutes later I saw Amarachi. The worst thing was that she came out with my own next door neighbor in 34B, Charles.
They both strolled out of the club and before I could escape and zoom off, Charles recognized my car and screamed my name
“Kings, Howfr, you too come club?”
Before I could reply, I saw Amarachi checking my car plate number and double checking her phone
“You know my Bolt driver?” She asked Charles
God pun!sh you there. I said in my mind. As if she hasn’t seen this car before on our street.
“Bolt driver?” Charles asked in confusion
Shame almost ki||ed me
I just smiled nervously and asked them to come in. They haven’t even sat the stup!d girl asked me to turn on the AC and reduce the music
I imagined different ways to off them on the drive home but my Christian upbringing wouldn’t allow me, so we sat quietly till we got to our gate
Charles wanted to pay but I told him not to worry that I usually do it to help people, not like I needed the money.
“My guy!” Charles hailed me. “You know what, you go carry me and my babe again this weekend go Lekki” he mentioned the club then he gave me bottle water and soft drink he bought along the way
Babe ke? So, Charles is already dating Amarachi. I smiled as I nodded and wished him dea+h in my mind. Carry you again, as your driver? Bascard!
I decided to make one more trip cos I needed money for fuel the next day since I just carried bad market. Luckily, as I ended their trip, I got another request.
I quickly checked the name before I’ll carry my landlord next or our security and his babe cos these days everybody dey order ride
It was a female. I called and she confirmed her location
I got there and waited for almost 15 mins. I was already fuming and couldn’t wait to lash out until I saw her
She was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in Lagos!
Immediately, I offered her water or drink the one Charles dashed me
She was like huh, and looked at me suspiciously
I smiled and explained that I’m a rider with a difference, and my customers satisfaction is of utmost importance and priority and that’s why I always offer refreshments.
She smiled & confirmed that they were sealed, then next thing, she asked if she can have both cos she’s very thirsty & had a long day
Hmmmm… well, fine girl like this can never go wrong. So I gave her both drinks
She then said I should pls turn on the AC for her. Quickly I did even though I didn’t have much fuel
After staring at her from the side mirror severally, I decided to shoot my shot carefully. As a sharp guy, I started making small talks just to build courage and connection to request for her number
Soon, I asked if she wanted sweets then I brought out a pack and asked her to take a few
She thanked me and carried everything
After recovering from the shock, she now asked for my name
Happily, I told her my name.
She asked if this is my full time job
I said not at all. I’m a lawyer but I get bored when I close early from work after winning cases, so, I just use this side hustle to whirl away time and help people.
She smiled
I asked her if she’s going home or branching somewhere
She said, yes, she’s going home cos she’s done branching for the day
“So soon? Isn’t it too early for you to retire especially on a weekend?” I replied
Next thing, this babe asked me if I have somewhere in mind I want to take her to
I almost choked from excitement. Quickly, I said yeah. I was already thinking of the club in Lekki, Charles wanted to take Amarachi to so I told her.
She smiled and said okay she likes the sound of that… Just then her phone rang
She picked snd immediately started hurling insults on the phone
“Ordinary wig of 750k. 750k o, not even the 1.5 million naira own I asked for, and you ghosted me for 2 days, Femi. Anyway, a man like you got it for me… no wait, my bad. Not like you, a man better, far better than you!
I looked at her from my rear view mirror. Did I just hear her call 750k ordinary, and is it really 1.5M that is on her head like this?
“Look, my time, my body, even my shadow cost something. And so, if you’ve been giving me monthly allowance of 500k should I fly. Your mates do more” she barked
Next thing, she laughed a long laugh and said, “What I bring to the table? Look here darling, I am the table!” Then she hissed the longest I’ve ever heard and hung up
She switched immediately, and smiling, she asked me. “So, Kings, what were you saying, can we continue the conversation?”
I kept mute
“Hello, Kings, did you hear me?”
“Pls ma I don’t talk when driving.” I replied coldly
“Did you just call me ma?” She asked confused
I kept mute
“Never mind. So the club, hope it’s five star and the ambience is bougie cos I’m famished and also need a strong drink to wash off this toxic mood I’m in now.
“Club ke? Please ma, I’m a married man.” I brought out my ring from the glove box and wore it. “Don’t worry ma, we’re close to your house. You can eat and drink when you get home.”
She was quiet for a long time then hissed the second longest hiss I’ve heard and said,
“Men eh, men are really the s
“Thank you ma. Pls we’re here. Transfer or cash?”
The End
But look at me now, this is my 5th month as a lawyer in the morning and bolt driver at night
Economy choke so I had to put my Corolla to good use and everything was running smoothly
Nobody knew except my wife and my mechanic until one day my neighbor, Amarachi, who I don’t even talk to, ordered a ride and satan chose me!
I said satan cos God cannot forsake his children.
I usually don’t check names and even if I had, I wouldn’t have known it was her cos we’re not even close and her flat is the building opposite mine. I’m in No 34B and she’s in 36A.
I accepted cos the destination was actually my bus stop. I was excited when I saw the request as I just turned on the app after work.
I drove to the location and when I got there I called the number displayed on the app.
The voice was beautiful, so I waited and a few minutes later I saw Amarachi. The worst thing was that she came out with my own next door neighbor in 34B, Charles.
They both strolled out of the club and before I could escape and zoom off, Charles recognized my car and screamed my name
“Kings, Howfr, you too come club?”
Before I could reply, I saw Amarachi checking my car plate number and double checking her phone
“You know my Bolt driver?” She asked Charles
God pun!sh you there. I said in my mind. As if she hasn’t seen this car before on our street.
“Bolt driver?” Charles asked in confusion
Shame almost ki||ed me
I just smiled nervously and asked them to come in. They haven’t even sat the stup!d girl asked me to turn on the AC and reduce the music
I imagined different ways to off them on the drive home but my Christian upbringing wouldn’t allow me, so we sat quietly till we got to our gate
Charles wanted to pay but I told him not to worry that I usually do it to help people, not like I needed the money.
“My guy!” Charles hailed me. “You know what, you go carry me and my babe again this weekend go Lekki” he mentioned the club then he gave me bottle water and soft drink he bought along the way
Babe ke? So, Charles is already dating Amarachi. I smiled as I nodded and wished him dea+h in my mind. Carry you again, as your driver? Bascard!
I decided to make one more trip cos I needed money for fuel the next day since I just carried bad market. Luckily, as I ended their trip, I got another request.
I quickly checked the name before I’ll carry my landlord next or our security and his babe cos these days everybody dey order ride
It was a female. I called and she confirmed her location
I got there and waited for almost 15 mins. I was already fuming and couldn’t wait to lash out until I saw her
She was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in Lagos!
Immediately, I offered her water or drink the one Charles dashed me
She was like huh, and looked at me suspiciously
I smiled and explained that I’m a rider with a difference, and my customers satisfaction is of utmost importance and priority and that’s why I always offer refreshments.
She smiled & confirmed that they were sealed, then next thing, she asked if she can have both cos she’s very thirsty & had a long day
Hmmmm… well, fine girl like this can never go wrong. So I gave her both drinks
She then said I should pls turn on the AC for her. Quickly I did even though I didn’t have much fuel
After staring at her from the side mirror severally, I decided to shoot my shot carefully. As a sharp guy, I started making small talks just to build courage and connection to request for her number
Soon, I asked if she wanted sweets then I brought out a pack and asked her to take a few
She thanked me and carried everything
After recovering from the shock, she now asked for my name
Happily, I told her my name.
She asked if this is my full time job
I said not at all. I’m a lawyer but I get bored when I close early from work after winning cases, so, I just use this side hustle to whirl away time and help people.
She smiled
I asked her if she’s going home or branching somewhere
She said, yes, she’s going home cos she’s done branching for the day
“So soon? Isn’t it too early for you to retire especially on a weekend?” I replied
Next thing, this babe asked me if I have somewhere in mind I want to take her to
I almost choked from excitement. Quickly, I said yeah. I was already thinking of the club in Lekki, Charles wanted to take Amarachi to so I told her.
She smiled and said okay she likes the sound of that… Just then her phone rang
She picked snd immediately started hurling insults on the phone
“Ordinary wig of 750k. 750k o, not even the 1.5 million naira own I asked for, and you ghosted me for 2 days, Femi. Anyway, a man like you got it for me… no wait, my bad. Not like you, a man better, far better than you!
I looked at her from my rear view mirror. Did I just hear her call 750k ordinary, and is it really 1.5M that is on her head like this?
“Look, my time, my body, even my shadow cost something. And so, if you’ve been giving me monthly allowance of 500k should I fly. Your mates do more” she barked
Next thing, she laughed a long laugh and said, “What I bring to the table? Look here darling, I am the table!” Then she hissed the longest I’ve ever heard and hung up
She switched immediately, and smiling, she asked me. “So, Kings, what were you saying, can we continue the conversation?”
I kept mute
“Hello, Kings, did you hear me?”
“Pls ma I don’t talk when driving.” I replied coldly
“Did you just call me ma?” She asked confused
I kept mute
“Never mind. So the club, hope it’s five star and the ambience is bougie cos I’m famished and also need a strong drink to wash off this toxic mood I’m in now.
“Club ke? Please ma, I’m a married man.” I brought out my ring from the glove box and wore it. “Don’t worry ma, we’re close to your house. You can eat and drink when you get home.”
She was quiet for a long time then hissed the second longest hiss I’ve heard and said,
“Men eh, men are really the s
“Thank you ma. Pls we’re here. Transfer or cash?”
The End
