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Crypto Wahala: Garri to the Rescue 🤦🏽‍♂️😂

Crypto Wahala: Garri to the Rescue 🤦🏽‍♂️😂
I don tire for this crypto life. One minute, my portfolio dey shine like Christmas light 🎄💰, the next minute, e don red pass my village masquerade’s face 😭📉. I no go lie, I be big boy last month. I dey tell people how to invest, dey shout "Buy the dip!" anyhow. My guy even call me "Crypto Professor." Who send me message? 🤡

Last week, I check my Binance wallet, my heart nearly stop 💔. My $100 don turn to $12 😭. Na so I call my guy, Chidi, say, "Bro, e be like say this crypto don finish me." Chidi just laugh, say, "Omo, you never see anything. Sell am buy garri, at least that one dey rise when you add water." 😭😂

At first, I think say na cruise 🚢, but as I check my fridge and see only empty nylon, reality slap me 🤦🏽‍♂️. I no waste time. I sell my last USDT, rush go buy garri, sugar, and groundnut. Now, anytime I dey sip my soaked garri with style 😎🥂, I dey tell myself, "At least this one no go dip."

My fellow hustlers, make we no kill ourselves over crypto 😆. If market no favor you, just go back to the basics—garri no dey disappoint! 😋👌

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It won′t fall

I remember when drinking used to be part of my life, but that all changed when I repented and gave my life to Christ. Back then, a night out with friends almost always involved alcohol. One particular night stands out in my memory. We had just finished drinking, but I kept my intake low so I could see the road clearly. The rain had poured heavily earlier, leaving the streets wet and muddy. By the time we left the bar, it was already dark, and all we had was a dim torchlight to guide us home.

As we walked, I kept cautioning my friend to put away his beer bottle so he wouldn’t get more intoxicated, but he paid no attention. He was holding on to it like it was the most precious thing in the world. The road was slippery, and puddles of rainwater filled the usual spots. We moved carefully, but my torchlight battery was running low. Just as we reached a particularly tricky junction, the light finally died. I quickly turned to a nearby shop, hoping to get new batteries before we continued.

In the brief moment I got distracted, I completely forgot about my friend. The next thing I heard was a loud splash, followed by the sound of someone struggling to get up. I turned around to see him sprawled in a large puddle of stagnant water. But what shocked me the most was that, even in his fall, he still held the beer bottle high, making sure not a drop spilled.

I couldn’t hold back my laughter. I reached out and helped him up, and we both burst into laughter, walking the rest of the way home.

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The underrated surprises

Today was quite eventful. I went to a cyber café to type and print some documents. The place was packed with people, all busy with different things. I borrowed a keyboard and started working on my document while overhearing a conversation about the best universities. Some people were really arguing, each defending their school like their life depended on it.

After a while, I stepped out to buy a half bag of water for everyone in the café. The weather was hot, and I figured they could use some. When I returned, something interesting happened. One of the guys there must have felt inspired because he went out and bought food for everyone. Just like that, I got a free lunch without expecting it. It was funny how a small act of kindness led to something even bigger.

Once I finished typing and printing, I packed my things and headed outside. Just as I was about to leave, I saw an old friend from way back. It had been a long time since we last met, but one thing hadn’t changed about her, she was still as short as ever. It made me smile because, in my mind, I always imagined she would have grown taller.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to catch up properly. We exchanged pleasantries, laughed a little, and then I had to leave. It felt good seeing her again, but life keeps moving, and sometimes, you just have to keep going.

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Sitting high

This morning was church cleanup day, so I arrived early to join in. After the opening prayers, we had a short meeting where everyone was given refreshments. The atmosphere was lively, with people chatting and preparing for the cleanup. It felt good to be part of the team, knowing we were working together to keep the church clean and organized.

Once the cleaning started, I suddenly remembered something we used to do as kids. Back then, we would stack up plastic chairs and climb to the top just for fun. Feeling a bit nostalgic, I decided to try it again. I carefully arranged several chairs, making sure they were stable, then climbed up and sat at the highest point. The feeling was incredible, like I was on a throne, watching everything from above.

As I sat there, completely relaxed, I almost forgot about the cleanup going on around me. The cool breeze, the height, and the slight swaying of the chairs made it an oddly satisfying experience. I was enjoying my moment when, suddenly, I heard my leader’s voice calling my name. He was urging me to come down and lead the closing prayer. At that moment, I realized I had been sitting up there for quite some time, just enjoying the view.

With a smile, I climbed down from my "throne" and joined the group. Everyone was already gathered, waiting for the prayer to wrap up the day's work. I took a deep breath, cleared my mind, and led the closing prayer, thanking God for strength and unity.

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Taking Out The Rats

I had enough of the rats disturbing our compound, so I decided to take my revenge. I bought a few rat traps, hoping to teach them a lesson. That night, before going to bed, I carefully placed the traps in different corners, places where I had seen them pass before. I smiled to myself, knowing that by morning, some of them would be caught. Finally, I went to sleep, feeling satisfied with my plan.

Around midnight, I woke up because I needed to use the toilet. After easing myself, I remembered the traps and decided to check them. To my surprise, none of them had caught anything. I felt disappointed but told myself it was still early. I checked the time—it was 12:14 AM. With nothing to do, I went back to bed, hoping for better luck by morning.

By 5 AM, I woke up again and went to check the traps. This time, things had changed. Some traps had been moved, one was empty, and in another, I saw two small rats caught together. I stared at them, watching them struggle, their tiny bodies shaking in fear. For a moment, I felt a little pity, but then I reminded myself of all the nights their family had disturbed my sleep.

No matter what, I couldn’t let them go. I had to make an example of them so that the others would learn. I took the trap outside and made sure they would not come back to cause trouble. It was a small victory, but at least I could enjoy some peace for a while.

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Green shorts

I've been noticing my neighbor for quite some time now. For nearly two weeks, he’s been wearing these same shorts, day in and day out. He’s a good friend, and I’ve tried to advise him told him it would be a good idea to wash them at least once. But he just won’t do it. He wears those shorts to run errands, to the school to pick up things, and even to meet his lecturer. It seems like there’s nothing he hasn’t done while wearing them, and the fact that he hasn’t washed them still amazes me.

It makes me reflect on the kind of people we’re fostering in this community. What values are we instilling in one another? It saddens me to see individuals, particularly younger ones, who don’t prioritize hygiene or personal maintenance. It feels like there’s a lack of awareness or appreciation for self-care, and I can’t help but wonder how this affects the community as a whole. Sometimes, it’s these small habits that reveal so much about a person’s values and upbringing.

There’s a saying that men are dirty, and while I’ve always found that hard to believe, this particular guy is testing my patience. I’ve tried to advise him countless times because we’re close friends, but he just wouldn’t budge. It’s like he has this attachment to those same green shorts that he wears day in and day out morning, afternoon, and night.

Honestly, if you happen to see any guy walking around in green shorts, it might just be him. If you do, feel free to call out to him and ask if his name is Kingsley. He could very well be the one I’m talking about. I just wish he’d realize how off-putting this is and take the simple step of washing his clothes. It’s baffling and a little concerning, especially seeing how it reflects on personal care and hygiene. It's a reminder of how important it is to take pride in ourselves and our appearance, not just for our sake but for those around us as well.

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Casted 419 Move

Few days ago, I took a taxi to somewhere to buy some items I was in need of, when I entered into the hands of some 419s. I've been hearing of how they operate, but that was my first encounter, everything I heard about them played out exactly the same. Being fully aware of the tactics, I followed them up in a very calm manner, they were frustrated in the end. I know they were not expecting it, but, it is what it is.

I came out to the junction to meet a taxi waiting for passengers, the driver asked if I was gonna board the taxi and I replied with a nod. There was one young lady at the back, and a guy at the front. Immediately I entered, another passenger, a guy entered after me, and the taxi moved. On our way, this people sparked up a conversation, I maintain the mood I always maintain while boarding a vehicle, and that is to be silent.

They were talking and laughing, and even tried to initiate me into the conversation, I refused to let a single word out of me. It wasn't long when the guy in front, started talking about how he is looking for where to change dollars into naira. A very popular tactics by this fraudsters, I knew the situation I was in, and decided to be calm and let everything play out. I pretended not to even hear what they were saying, and very busy with my phone.

I noticed how the driver was looking at me through the mirror, I'm sure they were pissed off already. They are rumored to be with charms, that will only work on you, when you reply to whatever they are saying. If I never believed it before, the guy that was talking about dollars has proven it to be true. When they couldn't get me to talk, even concerning the dollar matter, the taxi stopped, and the driver said he's not going my way again, and that I should go down.

I went down jejely, the driver looked at me and cursed me while zooming off, I laughed. Such a very popular method has been casted, they should better go and find a legal work to do. I escaped in a majestic manner.

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The Blind Run

The Blind Run
Just the other day, I was running late for class, I was very late, despite that I tried my best, I still couldn't meet up on time. So I had no choice than to run from my house, down to where I was going to enter a shuttle inside the school. It was on a hot afternoon, I was started sweating before I could finish dressing because of how much I was in a hurry. The run had to be very fast, else, I will be more late than expected.

I was surprised to run into a dog that was sleeping on the road, while I was still navigating my way out of my street. The dog woke immediately and began to run away, thinking it was under an attack. It was very funny, I laughed, the dog was in a deep sleep, the eyes were red, and I'm sure it was running for it's life, with sleep in it's eyes. But then, the run didn't stop, I still had to get to class on time, I kept moving.

The dog ran ahead of me, and in the next few meters, there was an uncompleted building, with two guys sitting in front, with substance in their hand, that I think it was weed. Immediately they saw me running towards them, they left what they were doing and ran away with full speed. Believe me I was running fast, in their mind, it must be police officers that are after me, and they ran even without seeing anything after me.

I wanted to call out to them and tell them that no one is pursuing me, but then they looked rough and could have beaten the hell out of me for scaring them, so I continued my run quietly, while they ran and branched unknown destinations. I could not hold my laugh, it was very funny. It's only a guilty man that runs when nothing is pursuing him, so they deserved the 'run for your life's incident.

Got to class with my clothes soaked in sweats, and the funny incident didn't leave my head even for a second. 'Dogs and humans run in a blind battle to save their lives', that would have made a top headline if there were drones covering the event. Me that was innocently running to class, guilty beings were busy running too. Chai!

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Differences

Differences
We all came out to do the Saturday cleaning, but this particular guy that moved into the compound was stubborn. He didn't know how things were done in this new residence, and he had just popped in a week ago, claiming he was a big boy and muscular, but we wouldn't give him a chance.

Immediately our lodge president identified that he was proving stubborn and not ready to join us for the Saturday cleanup activities. We all rushed out to meet him as we knocked. He was just bewildered. He couldn't talk again. As we dragged him to the spot for the cleanup, it looked like it was a movie because he was far outnumbered. People had clustered around him, and if he had made any wrong move, he could have been taught a very severe lesson.

If he had come from a lodge where they don't do cleanup or they don't respect anybody, this particular lodge and residence is quite different.

He thought that with his big head and wooden shoulders, that he could come here and claim superiority. He's lucky he didnt chop sand.

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Bad Market

Bad Market
Kelvin burst out laughing when he saw the laptop I had hoped to buy for a low price opened up on my table. I couldn’t help but join in his laughter. The sight was both amusing and a little sad by the way. This laptop belonged to a friend who was eager to sell it after years of neglect. I thought it might serve me well for some simple tasks in the future, even though it was an old model of an older generation with a mere 2 GB of RAM which is far from being up to do with today’s demanding online tasks.

As I booted it up, the old fan in the laptop wheezed, making strange noises as if fighting its existence. In that moment, I understood what I was I was in for, recognizing the irony of my hopeful purchase.

Yet, after our laughter subsided, I began to reevaluate my decision. I resolved to return the laptop to my friend. There was no way I would buy such a device; it would only serve to make me a laughingstock coupled with embarrassment.

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Village people dey

Village people dey
I was walking very slow to school today after I prepared early for classes. I started off walking slow and then when I was halfway in the journey, I saw one of my female crush, a beautiful girl, Favour is her name, when I saw her from afar, she was ahead of me. So I increased my pace in order to reach her so we could just talk and reach the school together.

We were conversing and I was maintaining my composure and everything was in order but all of a sudden my village people decided to call and my shoe began to make my toes uncomfortable.

When I looked, the mouth of the shoe was already open, the sole had been cut off and I hadn't known this all along.

Immediately I noticed that my shoe was in bad shape, I got a little bit embarrassed and I hoped she wouldn't look at my shoe. As we walked on and I do not know whether she noticed, but every eye that I saw seemed like they were looking at my shoe even when they weren't looking.
I couldn't go back home after the long walk, there was no repair shop around that area too, leaving me with the option to walk until I was close to my department.

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It Worked

It Worked
There’s a street I pass by often in the evenings, and it’s always lively with children playing. They greet me with so much joy whenever they see me, their energy contagious. But one day, something felt off. From a distance, I noticed the street was unusually quiet. None of the kids were there, which was strange because nothing ever seemed to stop them from playing.

As I got closer, I noticed the ground looked rough, with marks of little feet and scattered game equipments. It was clear they had been playing there earlier. I brushed aside my curiosity, thinking they might have gone home early, and continued walking. Suddenly, out of nowhere, they all jumped out of their hiding spots, shouting, "Uncle, we played you!" I couldn’t help but laugh. These kids had actually planned to prank me, and it worked perfectly.

One of the kids ran up to me with his report card in hand, beaming with pride. He had finished the term in third position and couldn’t wait to show it off. I congratulated him, then asked why he hadn’t gone home yet since school was over. His answer was predictable; they were too caught up in playing to even think about it. I reminded them that it was getting dark, and it was time for everyone to head home.

But of course, these kids weren’t letting me off that easily. They insisted I couldn’t send them away without giving them something, as if it was a tradition I had somehow signed up for. They were so persistent that I couldn’t say no. So, we all walked to the nearest shop, and I asked the store owner to give each of them a sachet of Hollandia yoghurt.

After that, everyone finally went their separate ways, and I continued my walk with a smile, knowing I had made their evening just as they had made mine.

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The cost of conformity

The cost of conformity
When my lecturer yelled, "If you bring that hair back to my office, I won't attend to you," I knew she meant business. She was one of the strictest in my department, and while most of the other lecturers never minded my hair since I always kept it combed and neat, this particular woman seemed to have a serious problem with it. Her irritation was clear, and I didn’t want to risk any issues with her course.

Stepping outside, I thought long and hard about my options. Keeping my hair meant appearing stubborn, and that could backfire during the semester. Reluctantly, I decided it was best to trim it down. I walked to the nearest barbershop, sat in the chair, and told the barber to make it low. It felt like a small price to pay for peace with my lecturer, but little did I know it would open a whole new set of problems.

The reactions were immediate and brutal. My friends and classmates couldn’t stop teasing me. They said I looked like a monkey, a new primary school student, and even a newly admitted boarding school kid. The taunts came from everywhere. People weren’t used to seeing me with a low cut, and honestly, I wasn’t used to it either. It was embarrassing, but I had to endure their jokes and awkward stares for the next two months until exams were over.

From that experience, I made a decision: never again. No matter who complains or what the stakes are, I’ve sworn to keep my hair. That semester taught me more than just academics, it taught me the cost of trying to please everyone.

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friends for ages

friends for ages
It had been a long time since I last visited my childhood friend, Sarah. We had grown up together, but life took us in different directions, and distance kept us apart. When the holiday came, I was excited to finally have the chance to see her again.

When I arrived at her house, I couldn’t believe how beautiful she had become. Her smile was just as warm as I remembered, and her laughter filled the room with joy. We hugged tightly, both of us feeling the happiness of being reunited after so long.

We spent hours talking about our lives. I shared stories about my job and my adventures, while she told me about her studies and the things she loved to do. It felt like no time had passed at all.

After catching up, I offered to help her with some house duties. We washed dishes, tidied up, and even baked some cake together. It was fun working side by side, and we laughed as we made a little mess in the kitchen. The smell of fresh cake filled the house.

Not long we were done and the entire family can't wait to have a taste of want we have going on in the kitchen, no joke but we're very certain in our ability as we cannot disappoint their appetite.

After the meal we both left to grab a few stuff together and it was fun all through recreating some of our childhood memories along the way and smiling like babies

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Just the movies, don′t want it real

Just the movies, don′t want it real
I just finished watching a horror movie, and I really enjoyed it. It was incredibly scary and fun. I usually prefer these kinds of movies over others because they keep me on my toes. I love experiencing the thrill, the waves of jitters, and all the shocking moments. The suspense in horror films is often out of this world, and that’s what I enjoy the most.

During the day, I watched the movie until the evening, and then it was time for my bath. I typically take a bath twice a day: one in the afternoon and again in the evening. To be more precise, I prefer bathing close to 10 PM to 11 PM at night. It really helps me sleep better.

So, there I was, just about to take my bath, with scenes from the movie replaying in my head.

Suddenly, a wave of wind blew through the windows, chilling my body, and that’s when the fear really set in. I felt the tension I had been experiencing while watching the movie increase, combined with the cold of the night. Just then, a spider landed on my back, causing me to jump up from my squatting position in fright.

In a panic, I rushed out of the bedroom and decided that I wouldn't let myself be won by mental stress this time. Although I realized just a minute later that it was only a spider that had scared me like that, I was already in a towel drying myself up.

I think I’ll skip the bath for tonight. It’s time for some rest. I’ll see you all later. Goodnight!

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Weevil′s Capitalization On Laziness

Weevil′s Capitalization On Laziness
For about two weeks now, I have been going through a very tough time in the hands of bean weevils, they were literally everywhere in my room; the floor, bed, table, chair, wall, ceiling, and will even rest on me at some point. The beans my parents bought for me last year October, as part of my provisions, was now a megacity for weevils. All along, I have been feeling too lazy to get rid of them permanently, and they capitalized on it, coupled with embarrassments.

Two of my classmates came to my house yesterday evening, around 5pm, we discussed about so many things, including school activities. Little did I know that this weevils will soon embarrass me big time. Things started turning around when it became dark, and there was power supply, the weevils flew around the bulb in numbers, resting everywhere in the house, including on our body. To my classmates, it was a funny thing, they laughed and took pictures of the whole stuff which they posted on our class's Whatsapp group.

The weevils even flew into our food and drinks, so uncomfortable that my classmates had to leave earlier than intended. I'm not exaggerating, it was such an embarrassment for me, the incident made the top headline in my class's Whatsapp group, they were laughed about it and narrated to my room as a haunted room, but it was a very sad thing for me. I caused it by allowing laziness to take over me, I made up my mind to do something about it this morning, and in the most tragic and brutal way possible.

I took the bag of beans outside, made sure that the fowls in the compound came close, then I used a sifter to separate the weevils from the bean, and you can imagine what followed. The fowls fed on the weevils till they were filled, believe me when I say that the weevils were much. The damage they did to my beans was heartbreaking, holes everywhere in my beans, that I allowed, but coming out to terrorize me in my own house was what I couldn't accept. I feel relieved that they are gone.

The laziness had cost me something, I still had to purchase an insecticide to be able to get rid of it completely, and now my classmates have started attaching weevil to my name as nickname, Kai! Such a pathetic way to kickstart this year/semester, I've learnt my lesson.

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Exam obstacle

Exam obstacle
It was in my JSS1, that was in 2008/.. I had wanted to attend Nigeria military Secondary school unfortunately all flopped so i had to miss the whole of first term.. Second term i resumed at a private secondary school with assurance from my parents i would leave when am going to SS1..which later happened.
Second term, i resumed when the term has already gone far almost close to exam period.. Fast forward exams came, i had no friends yet, my notes where not up to date it was just me myself and i...I had to improvise.. I had just one option, exam malpractice (i was 10yrs). Back then we used pages from long notebook 'fuscap' as we called it then.
My first paper that term was agricultural science.. I took the Sunday night before Monday that the exam is scheduled for to draft my name, class date and all the necessary things written on the top right corner of a typical exam fuscap.. We used to have 20 objectives questions and 5 essays to answer 3. I would just number my fuscap from 1-20 and fill in alphabets from A-D as i deem fit.. Turn my fuscap and write out answers to four possible essay questions and go.
On the Monday of the exams i would enter exam hall with like four fuscap sheets and the one with answers amongst them.. Once exams starts i will pretend as if I am writing and thinking for like 45 minutes solving the objective part i would then boldly bring out the one with answers and strike lines on it like a canceled work, place it ontop of my desk and majestically write out the correct answers that are in them.. I did that for all my subjects then apart from maths and English without been caught for even a second.. After writing it, I always take excuse to use the restroom which I discard the one with answers..(nobody thought a 10yr old cold could pull that kind of a stunt).. I came out tops in my class that term.. I introduced myself to my classmates ina grand style. I remember a day I was nearly caught, I wanted to ease myself as usual but this day it didn't go as how others have been moving freely, that day my teacher was searching around my side and when I asked for permission, he declined. He continued searching, getting to my side, I nearly pissed on my uniform but God never and didn't disappoint me that day. Getting close to my desk, another teacher came in to inform him that the principal is calling him. That was how he left and this my school, once caught in malpractice, the student will be expelled. Nobody taught i would come out tops when i resumed barely weeks before exam...told my friends years later.. Them still no believe me till today..
I pulled that stunt just that term.

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Critical Situation At The Creche

Critical Situation At The Creche
This holiday has been full of fun for me, I visited a lot of family members and friends, took a lot of tour to places of interest, it was awesome. I visited my Aunty's house, she is one of the family members that I like the most, so I spent a couple of days in her house. She has three kids, all girls, the eldest of them is 6 years old and the smallest is about 2 years old. My Aunty is a teacher in a private school, regardless that it is holiday, she was need urgently in the school.

She doesn't have a maid, so certainly she had to go to the school with the kids, it was an important meeting she had to attend. So she asked me to go with her, so I can help her to look after the kids, I happily agreed, at least it is part of touring around the town and going to places. We arrived the school, and my Aunty took me and the kids to the creche to stay, while she attended the meeting. The TV there was on, cartoon was on, everything looked okay.

Shortly after, the smallest of the kids started disturbing, crying uncomfortably, I could hardly comprehend what the problem was. I bathed them in the creche's restroom, fed them but the smallest refused to eat. The cry didn't cease, I carried her on my shoulders, walked around the creche, still didn't help. One of the staffs came in and tried to help me out, but the little girl was at maximum crying gear. The staff narrated that it's the little girl's nature, and won't stop until she sees the mother.

This girl cried for almost an hour, at this point, I was very exhausted, the girl too was exhausted, but refused to give up completely. The other siblings disturbed in their own way, I had never faced something like that before, my eyes had changed colour, the tiredness was visible on my face. I laid flat on the floor with the kids by my side, disturbing me as if they want to end my life right there, I prayed in my heart that the mother should be done with the meeting soonest.

When the mother returned, it's as if she knew the kind of stress the kids will put me through, she laughed when she saw me laying on the floor very exhausted. I told myself that I'm never doing that type of thing again, even if I'm paid or not. But then I remembered that I'm a lady and will have kids one day, I will pray for supernatural grace and strength when the time comes. I never knew that looking after kids could be that stressful.

It is only joyous when they have fully grown, but as toddlers, you're up for stress everyday of your life. I only spent 6 hours in the creche with them, now I'm feeling sick. My Aunty was making fun of the incident, telling me she is teaching me to look after kids, I replied by saying that I will learn automatically when my own kids arrive. Make I no come kpai myself in the name of training. I survived, I'm never doing it again after I recover, never! Grace will come when I have mine.

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Christmas Chicken heist

Christmas Chicken heist
I remember back when we used to rear a few chickens at home, just about five of them. One of the chickens was reserved for Christmas meat, and everyone was looking forward to the feast. But on Christmas morning, just as we were preparing to catch it, the chicken broke free and ran into a nearby bush. It was determined not to end up in the pot that day.

To catch it, I called a group of children to help surround the bush. The plan was to block all its escape routes so we could grab it easily. But the chicken was too smart for us. It dashed deeper into the bush, leaving us all frustrated. The children and I decided to regroup and try again. This chicken was not going to ruin Christmas!

On the second attempt, we almost had it cornered. Just as we were about to catch it, someone shouted, "Snake!" True enough, there was a snake coiled up in the bush, right where the chicken was hiding. We couldn’t leave the snake there, it was a threat to all of us. Gripping my stick tightly, I struck the snake and after a few hits, it dropped lifeless.

While I was busy dealing with the snake, the children had resumed their chase. This time, they were more determined than ever. After a lot of shouting and running around, they finally caught the chicken, which was struggling furiously to escape. Its stubbornness came at a cost, though. One of the kids got a cut on his leg during the chase, and we were all tired.

After all the drama, it ended up where it was meant to be; in the cooking pot. The struggle made the meal feel even more special.

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When My Man Meets My Woman

When My Man Meets My Woman
You know that feeling in your stomach when you run into someone you didn't expect to see again. Well, that was me today, and that feeling held me in a tight embrace. I was coming back from the seminar this afternoon when I walked past this lady on nose mask and brown tinted sun shades.

“Excuse me”, she said. “You are Desmond right?”
“And who are you?”

“Oh I am Chinwe, Chinwe Nwachukwu”, she said as she removed her glasses and nose mask.
“Oh, I see, holla”

And that was how I found myself in a restaurant with her where we had some rice and chicken. We talked about things one would normally talk about when you meet someone after a long time.

We used to be friends in school back then. With time, we stopped talking. I didn’t know why, but I think it had something to do with one guy she met back then. Good for her. But I was hurt when she excluded me from things we normally did together and went incommunicado. It was exhausting but I walked anyways and here she was, sitting opposite me.

She is popular on YouTube these days. I had seen her in some movies. She was good alright. Her flair and talent was kool.

Her phone rang a couple of times and in the presiding discussions that followed, it was all about her man. You try talking with her about work, politics, the economy or life in general and she would go like, “Her Man thinks, Her Man says, Her Man this, Her Man that…” I tire oh. Nah so the food wey I chop come vanish for my body like this. I had to excuse myself to use the men’s room.

While in there, I called Trisha (that my coursemate from Lagbaja) and told her it was a code 9 emergency. Girl, you gotta get me outta here.

In the next few minutes after using the restroom, she called me and I was like, “That’s My Woman, I got to get this”, I made sure the call sound was a little more audible so Chinwe could hear.

“Boo, where are you?, I have missed you…”
“Awwwwwwwwwwwwn, I miss you too, I am having lunch with an acquaintance”,
“But Babes, I was gonna take you out like I said nowu😢🥺”
“My world, I am sorry, I will be there soon. My Lady, My Angel, don’t be mad, I am coming”

Me to Chinwe: Did I take long? My bad.
Chinwe: I heard it all, you guys were cute on phone.

Me (Pretending I didn’t know what I did but smiling inwardly in Ekwensu Red Expression): You don’t mean it. Was it on speaker, oh nooooo (Acts shy). Sorry about that.

And that was how I wrapped up things with Chinwe. We split the bills and I walked home. Thanks to Trisha for the acting. We should star in a movie sometime. No be me Chinwe go frustrate. Inukwanu m nonsense in condensed form.

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Great disappoinment

It’s been ages since I got anything worthwhile from airdrops, and I was really hoping this one would be different. I had my eyes set on it, thinking this might finally be the turnaround I’d been waiting for. With December around the corner, my plans were already forming. You know that feeling when you’re budgeting imaginary money? That was me, ready to ball out for Detty December with the “profit” I was expecting.

A few days before the listing, my friend told me to let go of any hope I had for the project. He said it wasn’t looking good and that I should move on. But me? I’m stubborn. How could I agree when I’d already started spending the money in my head? I told him he was being negative and convinced myself it would work out. After all, wasn’t this how people hit it big sometimes?

Then came the listing day, and my heart broke into tiny little pieces. The coin didn’t even give me back a quarter of what I put into it. The value was so bad it felt like a joke. I sat there staring at my phone, wondering why I didn’t listen to my friend or at least wait it out. But no, I had to believe in my “Detty December dreams.” That’s how reality gave me a slap to wake up.

After this disaster, I’ve decided to stay off Telegram for a while. If any project or group starts to call my name, I’ll ignore it unless an angel descends from heaven to tell me otherwise. For now, I need to regroup, focus on what’s real, and forget about the promises of quick cash. Lesson learned the hard way.

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