Funny/Hilarious Stories & Experiences

As I was sitting today in my seat and reading a novel, a romance novel to be specific, I spotted a large mosquito fly in through my doors. I had opened the doors and left my curtains down, you know, and suddenly this mosquito, which was extremely larger than the normal species, made its entry.

I immediately glanced around for my broom, but I couldn’t find it at first where I had dropped it, it might had slid away.
After a quick search, I finally picked up the broom and made my way back to confront the mosquito. It flew around loudly and sharply, with that irritating sounds that all mosquitoes made, except that for its size, the loudness was more loud.

I fought this mosquito for several minutes, waving the broom in all directions, until I finally managed to hit it. It fell down, and I couldn’t help but study it like a scientist examining a specimen. It was such a funny experience though, I couldn’t help but wonder, is that kind of mosquito categorized in our biology, I doubt if a mosquito that large was categorised in those textbooks.

Omo, this week church service was amazing because the priest stopped all of a sudden to tell a story which livened the church.

He said that, when he was in his former parish, that after offering he heard a woman slap her son and people was shocked 😲😲, Omo him say d slap no b here, because the slap was out of anger.

He purposely ignored her and later on continued the service, then the same woman still tear the pikin another slap, Omo everybody look the woman and he continued his service without stopping.

Then when the service ended, he approached the woman later on to ask what was the reason for the commossion inside the service and the woman said "Father, this my son has the mind to put my money for stew inside the offering box and when he told me, I was shocked.

Then, the Father said how come naa, then the woman replied that when the Father was preaching the gospel before offering time she gave the son 5k and 2h to put 2h in the offering box and 5k inside her purse which was for their Stew ingredients, when he came bck frm offering, i asked him, if he kept the money inside the purse and he said he made a mistake and kept the 2h inside the purse instead of the 5k.

Immediately, she tried to rush to the alter to take back the money but the orchers have carry the money to count☠️

Omo as him tell us this story ehhhhhnn........., come see crowd wey dey sleep don open eye dey laff 😂😂😂.
Omo last week church service was amazing because the priest stopped all of a sudden to tell a story which livened the church.

He said that, when he was in his former parish, that after offering he heard a woman slap her son and people was shocked 😲😲, Omo him say d slap no b here, because the slap was out of anger.

He purposely ignored her and later on continued the service, then the same woman still tear the pikin another slap, Omo everybody look the woman and he continued his service without stopping.

Then when the service ended, he approached the woman later on to ask what was the reason for the commossion inside the service and the woman said "Father, this my son has the mind to put my money for stew inside the offering box and when he told me, I was shocked.

Then, the Father said how come naa, then the woman replied that when the Father was preaching the gospel before offering time she gave the son 5k and 2h to put 2h in the offering box and 5k inside her purse which was for their Stew ingredients, when he came bck frm offering, i asked him, if he kept the money inside the purse and he said he made a mistake and kept the 2h inside the purse instead of the 5k.

Immediately, she tried to rush to the alter to take back the money but the orchers have carry the money to count☠️

Omo as him tell us this story ehhhhhnn........., come see crowd wey dey sleep don open eye dey laff 😂😂😂.

After reading, pls like the post to appreciate our effort🤲🤲🤲.

I still remember the day I stepped onto the scale before starting my 300L first semester. I was suprise to see 50kg. I felt a sense of accomplishment, knowing I'd maintained that weight since 2016.

As the semester progressed, I kept a close eye on my weight. By exam time, I had dropped to 46kg. I wasn't worried; I knew it was just a temporary fluctuation, probably because of the exam stress and other factors that might be personal. As at the time the semester was coming to an end I was back up to 48kg.

Life got busy, and I didn't get a chance to check my weight during those times. But recently, I decided to step onto the scale again. I wasn't too sure what it would be this time but to my greatest surprise I weighed 54kg! Wow I had finally broken through the 50kg barrier.

I couldn't wait to share the news with my friends Fatima and Ogechi. Those girls has always talked down on me each time we discussed about our fitness journeys, and now I felt like I had something to brag about. Fear my return.

kachi kapor popularly know as (ole jeans 👖👖) was a young man in his mid 30s

How he got the nickname ole jeans was a mystery to me. He is a very temperamental person once u called him is nick name he will look for stone and throw at u.
(nobody send you if it hit your head OYO on your own 😁😁😁)

One day something really funny happened, there is this Muslim family that stays in the next compound opposite to ours,the last born of that family about 4 or 5 years saw the mad man and called him ole jeans 👖 👖.

The mad picked a stick and flogged this girl, the girl started shouting and crying😭😭😭

The father of the child that's was a retired soldier came out and saw his child crying; "see madman see my pikin mad man pikin that's was what was going on in the father's head😁😁😁".

That's how the man out of anger dashed into his room and brought out koboko😂😂😂😂
once the mad man saw the whip he started running for his dear life 😂😂😂😂
Omo the army man no gree he gave him a very hot Chase and caught up to him and started whipping the hell out of the mad man 😂😂😂

Na that day I Know say mad people sabi speak in tongues and in different languages 😂😂😂😂

Biko Biko Biko ooooo😁😁😁he said in Igbo dialect while running for his life he was running and using is Ghana most go bag to block most of the Koboko😂😂😂 it was really funny indeed

Interviewer: How much amount of milk does
your cow produce?

Farmer: which one, black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: 2 litres per day.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: 2 litres per day.

Interviewer : Where do they sleep?

Farmer: The Black one or the. White one?

Interviewer: The black one

Farmer : In the Barn

Interviewer: And the White one?

Farmer: In the Barn also

Interviewer: Your cows look healthy... What do
you feed them?

Farmer: which one..black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: (Annoyed) but why do you keep on
asking if black one or white one when answers
are just the same??

Farmer: Because the black one is mine.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: Its also mine.

I was just enjoying my own time going about my today's activities after washing my clothes. When I was done washing, I dived into my phone and started playing some soccer games. I connected with an online friend to battle and guess what? I came in second place! I don’t like to say I lost, so I prefer to say I came second. My friend beat me, and it was so funny because I had already boasted about how I was going to win before the game even started.

As evening set in, two of my female friends, who I wasn’t very close with, showed up. One of them was celebrating her birthday.
It’s funny because the one who was celebrating her birthday is the same one they often call my wife at school. I was not exlecting to see her after I posted her on my status and sent her a private heartwarming message.

They pulled me out of my comfort zone and insisted that I buy some suya meat for them. I wasn’t really planning to be a host, but that’s how I ended up spending money I didn’t have.

I’ll never forget this experience. It was raining lightly that day when I got home a bit soaked. I made my dinner hoping that when I'm done showering, I will eat then sleep immediately.
I quickly rushed into the bathroom to rinse off. While I was halfway done with bathing, NEPA took the light, but thank God for my rechargeable bulb, so I kept going.

Out of nowhere, the power came back, and that bulb exploded with a loud sound. I was so terrified that I slipped and fell on my back. My heart was pounding, but the miraculous thing was that my head was safe.

After that scare, I had no interest in continuing my shower. I dried off quickly, wrapped myself up, and went to my room, relieved nothing worse had happened. Even the food I was supposed to eat, I left it on the table till morning.

There is a time I visited my aunty and went with her to a PTA meeting at her son's school, I didn't want to stay alone at home, so I decided to follow her to the meeting. My aunty have been emphasizing on how necessary and important it is for her to be in the PTA meeting, that she needs to address some issues that have been going on for a while, I had no idea what it was. The school was one of the biggest schools in town, with primary and secondary levels with boarding facility inclusive.

Her son was about 2 years old, and in the nursery class. The meeting kicked off in earnest, parents tabled their complains, but the biggest complain of all was by the corner. My aunty raised up her hand and complained about how her son doesn't ever return home with any remaining food in his lunch box, she said that she puts much food than her son can finish in the box, but yet he never returns home with any. She said that she suspects that the teacher eats her son's food.

She presented her evidence; she said that she decided to intentionally put an undone meat with bones in it that was still very strong in her son's lunch box, knowing too well that the little boy couldn't chew a strong meat that has bone, but still, the boned meat could not be found in the lunch box when the boy got home, it was empty, not even the fragments of the bone was found. How on earth???!!! The woman was sure the teacher ate it. Another parent stood up to say that his little child in the same class usually says that their teacher goes round with her plate when they are eating to scoop a portion of each of their food to eat.

The parent didn't believe the kid, because he thought the child was just saying it, but after what my aunty just said, he believed it's true. Reactions sparked up, the proprietress asked the teacher to stand, the teacher was a grown woman which I guess should be in her late 40s, the look on her face confirmed that she's guilty, she couldn't denied and nodded her head in shame to confirm that the accusations is true. The parents reacted angrily, yelling at the woman, my aunty was raged, she has been waiting a long time to expose this teacher.

It was added that the woman doesn't come to school with food, because she eats from the children in her class everyday, perhaps depriving the little kids of the good meal they are supposed to have. The proprietress addressed the issue and assured the parents that the teacher will no longer be in the nursery section, she was transferred to the primary section where pupils eat on their own. She was queried, and her salary for a month wasn't paid. I was shocked oh, very shocked, things are happening.

I entered the street today; I just decided to take a stroll around the school.
I dressed up very exotically, very expressively, and I wanted to flaunt my new dress, I had received the outfit from an uncle abroad.

The stroll was something that I just wanted to do for fun—it was Sunday. So I went into school, grooving and walking with all pride and comfort, greeting friends along the way and all that.

My main aim was to visit the hostel. There was a friend there who had been inviting me over and over again, but I had not had time. So I decided to go there, coupled with the fact that it was a Sunday.

When I arrived at the hostel with all my pride, my friend was able to identify a tear behind my well-ironed shirt.
I was disappointed. Who knows all these girls out there looking my way?
See mess up, but if it is for fun, I actually did have fun today.

The first time I went to a swimming pool, it was one of the most embarrassing days of my life. Here I was, a grown man, thinking I could at least manage, only to realize I had no idea what I was doing. My sister had dragged me there, insisting I needed to learn, but honestly, I thought swimming would come naturally as everyone makes it look easy on TV.

My sister, of course, knew how to swim like a pro. She’d been doing it since she was a kid, so she was floating across the pool like she was born in the water. Meanwhile, I was splashing around, struggling just to stay afloat. I could see her trying not to laugh as I desperately kicked my legs and waved my arms, hoping something would happen. But instead of swimming, I was basically just creating waves.

Eventually, I decided to swallow my pride and try to learn the basics like my sister showed me. But no matter how hard I tried, it felt like my body just wasn’t meant for water. After a while, exhaustion took over, and I decided I’d had enough.

That experience was more than enough for me. I just couldn’t see the point of torturing myself when I could happily stay on land. But the worst part? My sister wouldn’t let me forget it. She joked about my “swimming skills” for days.
I can laugh about it now, even if it was pretty humiliating at the time. Maybe one day I’ll give swimming another try but definitely not with my sister as my instructor

Back in secondary school days, my home economics teacher always talked about personal hygiene and the use of perfume and scented liquids on the body.

Well, by then, I didn't have money to purchase perfume. there were many other things to do with money than to spend it on perfumes, and my parents agreed more to this. So, I figured out a plan to maneuver the whole situation and smell nice each time I was in school.

There was this market path that led to the school. Every morning, I would branch there and pretend like I wanted to buy a perfume. Then I would spray about 4 to 5 different brands and pretend like I disliked them.
The joy of my fellow students always coming to sniff my ever changing scent each day made me feel like a celebrity.

The exact are where they sold these perfumes had long line of shops, and there was no way they could detect my tactics.
Funny enough, I finished my SS3 without problems and still kept to my expensive perfume lifestyle.

Sundays for me always come with a routine, a visit to someone, whether it’s a friend or someone from church. So yesterday, I decided to go to a church member's house. When I got there, he welcomed me warmly, offered me a drink, and suggested we sit outside since there was no electricity, and the inside was like an oven. I agreed, and soon enough, we were out on his veranda, chatting and just enjoying the open air.

We talked about all sorts of things from life, family, even some church gist that made us laugh. We were there for almost an hour, just having a nice time. Then suddenly, he jumped up, remembering he had left food cooking when I arrived. By then, it was already too late; the food was burnt beyond saving. I felt so bad, realizing I was the reason he’d forgotten. But he just laughed it off, saying, “Stephen, these things happen.”

When we finally took the pot off the stove and looked inside, it was rice, all burnt to the bottom. The hunger in me was strong, and seeing that ruined meal was like torture. But he shrugged and said, “Let’s just eat it as it is. Today, this is our own version of ‘daily bread.’” We both laughed because, really, what could we do?

Long story short, we dished out the parts of the rice that weren’t totally burnt, and feasted till we were satisfied.

For the past four or five days, I’ve been pushing myself hard toward growth. I decided to cut down on entertainment and instead dive into books that could actually change my life. On top of that, I’ve been brushing up on my tech skills, trying to improve and expand my knowledge. It’s been intense, but worth it.

One of these days, I was so drained that I crashed around 8pm, something that rarely ever happens. I woke up around 2am, sweating like crazy, so I stepped outside to cool down and catch some fresh air. The night was quiet, and the cool air was refreshing.

I’d been standing there for a bit when I suddenly heard footsteps downstairs. With the way our compound is set up, we’re encouraged to create noise in situations like this to alert neighbors. I grabbed a spoon and a plate to make some noise and decided to go see what was going on.

When I got downstairs, there they were; two boys right in front of me, trying to break into a neighbor’s house. This neighbor had traveled, so I guess they thought it was the perfect opportunity. Without wasting time, I banged the plate hard to sound the alarm, and both of them took off running before anyone else could even wake up.

They were lucky to get away this time, feels surreal to remember, but I’m just glad nothing worse happened.

We had a pharmacology practical in school today, and it all started off fine.
It was a long lecture that lasted up to 3hrs straight without break and tiredness was boldly dancing on our faces.

At a particular time, we were grouped and assigned to different tables that was set up with apparatus.

Each group was to identify a leader to carry out the experiments.
Normally, I’m always selected as the group leader, but today I was just feeling tired and not ready to take on leadership.

After much pushing by my teammates and group members, they all cheered my name to take up the apparatus. With a bit of pride, I took up the apparatus, and then I was trying to sip some base into a pipette when suddenly, I swallowed, oh wait I didn't swallow, just received a mouthful good amount of the nonvolatile base.
I was wanted to get annoyed and complain about not wanting to involve myself in the first place, but the loud laughters by group members lured me into joining the laughing battle.

There was a day I was coming back home very late from work, I was so hungry, so I bought bread and egg to have for dinner. The road back to my house was dark as there was no NEPA light, and the flashlight of my button phone wasn't bright enough, but I had to manage it. All my mine was to get home, take my bath, eat and sleep, nothing more, nothing less.

As I got to the compound I live, the gate was locked already, so I had to knock for somebody to come and open the gate for me. While I was still knocking, I pointed my flashlight at something not too far away from where I was standing, and I saw two eyes balls that was glowing, staring at me. At first, I tried to comport myself and pretend as if I didn't see anything.

Someone finally heard me knocking and told me she's coming to open the gate. I don't know what happened to me, I started thinking about all sort of horror stuffs I have ever heard, imagining how the two eyeballs I saw could be a ghost and how the eyes could appear at my back to terrify me. I immediately looked back to make sure that my imagination didn't happen in real life, fear gripped me.

I pointed the dim flashlight at the spot again and saw four glowing eyes, the eyes moved and I couldn't hold myself at the point, I turned back and ran. I didn't run too far when I finally heard the gate being opened, my neighbor came out with a much brighter touch and I saw that the four eyes I saw was actually two cats that were staring at me. The cats ran off and my neighbor laughed because of the way the cats terrified me. But actually I was the one that scared myself by thinking of horrible things in my mind, which in turn triggered the fear. When I checked, my egg was broken.

Back in my first year of university, there was this guy who started showing interest in me. I could tell right away that he liked me, but I wasn’t really ready to reciprocate those feelings. One big reason was that I knew I was almost two years older than him, and that just made me feel like we were on different levels. Still, he didn’t give up easily.

He even went as far as telling two of my friends that he liked me. Of course, they came to me, trying to play matchmaker and pushing me to give him a chance. But I wasn’t having any of it. I told them to stop bothering me about him, and that was that. But this guy wasn’t backing down. He’d bring me food during night classes, and on Valentine’s Day, he surprised me with a watch.

I decided to be plain with him. I told him I knew he liked me and wanted to get closer, but I was two years older than him. I thought that would make him back off because, in my mind, it was the only way to send him away. Surprisingly, he said it didn’t matter to him. But I could tell he was nervous, like he didn’t know how to respond to the age thing.

After that conversation, things changed quickly. The next day, he started acting different, no more teasing or calling me those sweet names he used to throw around. He started keeping his distance and eventually stopped talking to me altogether. It was like he’d decided that was the end of the road.

I decided to try something new, as yesterday was Saturday.
Of all things to try out, one mumu thought chose to try out skating!

I borrowed some skating shoes from my close friend. I asked him to come with me too because I needed a little support and someone to laugh with.

We headed to a nearby square, and I thought to myself about how it was all going to be a piece of cake. I started skating, moving slowly at first. My friend held my hands, guiding my steps so that I dont trip.

But then, I started feeling brave and thought I could do it on my own, So, I told my friend to let go. He hesitated but finally let my hands go.

Happily, I was skating all by myself. It felt like a champion as i was sliding smoothly down the street.

That was when disaster struck, the devil couldn't even let me enjoy two minutes of my champion feeling, my feeling of sliding like a pro.
I lost my balance and gbam, I saw myself crashing into one of these big metal dustbin on the road side.
My friend burst out laughing.

There I was, tangled up with the dustbin struggling to get up but those shoes kept throwing me down. At that moment, I knew I was not going to try out skating again any time soon.

I went to visit my friend who worked as a seamstress
just three blocks away. She was so happy to see me! She gave me some good snacks to welcome me and after, we started watching a funny show together. She didn't have a lot of work in her hands as at then.

Suddenly, we saw a woman running down the road, and she looked very upset. She was shouting and chasing people, making everyone run away. Then she turned and looked right at us!

My heart started to beat fast. I smelt danger, What if she gets mad at us? What if she throws a stone or a stick?
We quickly grabbed our things and prepared to run at any slightest wrong move by the raging woman.

The woman full of energy and armed with a log started advancing. We ran and ran, our legs moving as fast as they could. All around us, people were laughing and shouting as they ran in different directions too. It was a little scary, but also very funny because everyone looked so silly running away.

We later got to realise that it was all a setup, and that the woman was a Tiktoker who created similar videos.

In the middle of the night, at around 01:00, I was still watching a movie with my phone since I couldn't sleep, and there was no power supply, so you can imagine everywhere to be dark and quiet. The compound I live in, has two blocks with 15 rooms in each, facing each other. The two ends has a gate, but on that night, the caretaker forgot to lock one of the gates.

I was still enjoying my movie in a very quiet midnight inside my room, when NEPA flashed a two seconds power supply and it went off again, what followed was commotion of somebody that was inside our compound, running with all his might towards the gate, and makes his way out. It was a thief, he was frightened by the flash, knowing that he could be seen and dashed out immediately.

The activity of thieves has increased rapidly within a short space of time in the area I live. I was wondering the level of discomfort the thief had to go through because of doing something bad. We woke up the next morning to find a phone on the floor, it didn't belong to anybody in the compound, it belonged to somebody in our neighboring compound. The phone fell from the thief while he was running when no one was pursuing him.

The neighbor was happy that her phone was returned, the phone was stolen through the window while she was asleep and she thought she'll never see it again, she was lucky, who knows how many phones was stolen that night. To do good is much easier and peaceful, than to do bad, but these thieves would never agree. Imagine the way he ran when NEPA flashed, such stress is not necessary. Everybody in the compound made a joke out of it, it was really funny, the thief almost got an heart attack because of the flash.

Some months ago I wrote JAMB and luckily I passed. Then I ran all the procedures before admission and was now waiting for admission.

While waiting for admission,I had my mind filled up with how and what I'll do when I get admitted
Firstly, I'll not stay in the hotel,but I'll have my own apartment,talking of apartment shey na me go pay. Mtcheew
Then,since am not a fan of garri but I've been managing since Tinubu regime,I told myself that am not going to go with garri,but that was only my plan sha cos it was in my mind. And other plans of attending every fellowship.
Thank God i was admitted into the university. Two weeks before the resumption,I told my parents about an apartment close to the school and the readily accept and I was very happy cos I thought it was gonna be hard to convince them.
Well,my happiness was short lived when I was texted my hostel payment receipts and my room number. Sha I can not underestimate my parents.
Plan A failed, I still got plan B sha, I told my parents to forget about giving me garri but should give other things double in exchange for the garri.
But two weeks after resumption,na me become prodigal,Campus shege wan finish me, I called home, although I was chastised but my garri was sent😁😁
University life no be for small pikin

I remember one evening, as I was getting ready for bed, I noticed the weather was a bit chilly because it had just stopped drizzling some moments ago. Normally, I love to sleep when it's cold outside, it made it easier for me to sleep and last in sleep longer. But that night, for reasons I still don’t fully understand, I made the decision to leave my fan on despite the already cold weather.

So, there I was, folding on my bed in satisfaction with the fan blowing cool air all around me. I closed my eyes, fell off to sleep, and just after I fell asleep, I fell into a weird dream.

In my dream, I was walking through a dark, raining forest. The rain was pouring down and I was getting soaked. The dream was so real that I asked myself in the dream what i was doing in such a cold environment.
I looked around, shivering uncontrollably, and it hit me that I was dreaming.
My fan had inspired this wet nightmare.

Suddenly, I jumped up from my bed, fully awake and confused. I looked around as if I had just escaped some wild creature.
I thought a little and I realized my fan was still blowing with force, blasting me with cold air.

Without giving it a second thought, I flew out of the bed and unplugged it. No be me fan go kill.