Relationship scam
“I am not ready for a relationship right now” these were the words Joshua said to me that night after a wonderful love making session, well I thought we were making love but realized later on that to him it was just casual sex.
This was something I was familiar with. Is it when David told me we should just remain friends or when Philip said he likes my friend better.
Dating has taught me a lot, especially in this part of the world, particularly Nigeria, where arguments come up online almost every two to three days. Arguments like who is to pay on the first date, should a girlfriend cook for her boyfriend and so many others.
I for one view dating from a subjective point of view, what works for you might not work for me and what works for me might not work for you.
Four years ago, I was at this party where I got dragged to. I didn't want to go, typical me like the pleasures of my house. Even after arriving there I sat down by the side watching my friend who invited me to the party, as she walked around mingling with different people, of course she knew almost everyone there. It was the birthday celebration of her coursemate.
I sat down quietly while games were going on, and we were divided into three different groups. The Master of ceremony then said every group should pick a female representative to come out. I don't know what it was on my face or maybe something I wore or probably the fact that I had been quiet the whole evening that made my group members pick me.
I stood up and went to where the other two girls who represented their groups stood. I had no idea what I was going to say or what game we were going to play but I had already prepared myself to lose easily and go back to my seat.
Interestingly it was a game I loved so much and I ended up winning, I believe that was what had drawn attention to my presence. Immediately I sat down, Joshua came to my side and sparked up a conversation, we spoke at lengths and I won't lie I was pretty much attracted to him.
We exchanged numbers before leaving and I believed that was a start of something great, he would call me and we'd gist about random stuff, I was the definition of “Fallen in love”.
Everybody close to me knew how I loved Joshua so much we were “The IT couple” or so I thought, gradually I started noticing changes in Joshua he'd stay days without speaking with me and even when I call we would talk for few minutes and he comes up with a flimsy excuse to end it.
Bear in mind that while all these were happening, Joshua had never for once asked me out, yeah! Funny, I know how stupid I was . Hey I'm not being harsh on myself, read to the end and if you don't agree I was stupid, then you'd surely agree I'm dumb.
I hadn't noticed we were not formally in a relationship because in my head we were married!!. Till that night I asked the most cliche question , “what are we?” It was at this moment Joshua gave me the most ridiculous answer I've ever heard “I am not ready for a relationship right now”.
You'd think after this, I'd receive sense and
Keep by pride intact by cutting ties with him, but No!!, instead I offered to be “the friend” he needed.
I guess deep down I believed that when he is ready for a relationship, he would choose me.
Joshua then traveled and things became worse, I will call and he won't pick up. Out of concern I begged my friend to follow me to his Friend's place and what I saw there shocked the living daylight out of me, it was his wedding program to another lady.
There was no way of committing suicide I didn't look up. It took a whole three months for me to get myself back, and by “get myself back” I mean continue my day to day activities. My once happy self was nowhere to be found…so when I say I've seen it all , you can at least give me a pass mark.
But hey! This is just one of many stories, it shouldn't determine your view on love because even for me it didn't. I admit it took a while for me to come back out into the dating world but I did.
And when I tell you I'm with one of the most amazing men right now, believe me and sure I didn't repeat my mistakes, he asked me out formally.
One thing I can say for sure about dating is that you need to experience it, to know it. But it all works out in the end.
This was something I was familiar with. Is it when David told me we should just remain friends or when Philip said he likes my friend better.
Dating has taught me a lot, especially in this part of the world, particularly Nigeria, where arguments come up online almost every two to three days. Arguments like who is to pay on the first date, should a girlfriend cook for her boyfriend and so many others.
I for one view dating from a subjective point of view, what works for you might not work for me and what works for me might not work for you.
Four years ago, I was at this party where I got dragged to. I didn't want to go, typical me like the pleasures of my house. Even after arriving there I sat down by the side watching my friend who invited me to the party, as she walked around mingling with different people, of course she knew almost everyone there. It was the birthday celebration of her coursemate.
I sat down quietly while games were going on, and we were divided into three different groups. The Master of ceremony then said every group should pick a female representative to come out. I don't know what it was on my face or maybe something I wore or probably the fact that I had been quiet the whole evening that made my group members pick me.
I stood up and went to where the other two girls who represented their groups stood. I had no idea what I was going to say or what game we were going to play but I had already prepared myself to lose easily and go back to my seat.
Interestingly it was a game I loved so much and I ended up winning, I believe that was what had drawn attention to my presence. Immediately I sat down, Joshua came to my side and sparked up a conversation, we spoke at lengths and I won't lie I was pretty much attracted to him.
We exchanged numbers before leaving and I believed that was a start of something great, he would call me and we'd gist about random stuff, I was the definition of “Fallen in love”.
Everybody close to me knew how I loved Joshua so much we were “The IT couple” or so I thought, gradually I started noticing changes in Joshua he'd stay days without speaking with me and even when I call we would talk for few minutes and he comes up with a flimsy excuse to end it.
Bear in mind that while all these were happening, Joshua had never for once asked me out, yeah! Funny, I know how stupid I was . Hey I'm not being harsh on myself, read to the end and if you don't agree I was stupid, then you'd surely agree I'm dumb.
I hadn't noticed we were not formally in a relationship because in my head we were married!!. Till that night I asked the most cliche question , “what are we?” It was at this moment Joshua gave me the most ridiculous answer I've ever heard “I am not ready for a relationship right now”.
You'd think after this, I'd receive sense and
Keep by pride intact by cutting ties with him, but No!!, instead I offered to be “the friend” he needed.
I guess deep down I believed that when he is ready for a relationship, he would choose me.
Joshua then traveled and things became worse, I will call and he won't pick up. Out of concern I begged my friend to follow me to his Friend's place and what I saw there shocked the living daylight out of me, it was his wedding program to another lady.
There was no way of committing suicide I didn't look up. It took a whole three months for me to get myself back, and by “get myself back” I mean continue my day to day activities. My once happy self was nowhere to be found…so when I say I've seen it all , you can at least give me a pass mark.
But hey! This is just one of many stories, it shouldn't determine your view on love because even for me it didn't. I admit it took a while for me to come back out into the dating world but I did.
And when I tell you I'm with one of the most amazing men right now, believe me and sure I didn't repeat my mistakes, he asked me out formally.
One thing I can say for sure about dating is that you need to experience it, to know it. But it all works out in the end.
