Joy Targema @targemajoy

I've heard so much about this drèadful bush baby but nēver encountered it. It was said to be an ev!l pūssy cāt. Whenever I heard someone talk about how it atē hūmān, I listened aptly, with my eyēs widely stuck out.

I could remember when a friend of minē, testified on how he êscaped from it. He had gone out in the middle of the night, to urīnate.

He was already in the business of unzipping when he heard a baby cry, close by. However, he was too engrōssed in letting out the waste.

He humbly releasēd the Oga and díd his thing. With relīef written all over him, he turned back to leave. A step back, the voice cried again, even more louder.

Ozugbo Ozugbo, he managed to on the torch. Lo and behold, he had ūrinated on the bush baby, a few steps Infront. You know guy's urine can go far.

Immediately, he activated his legs and ran like never before. The way he shouted by 3am made his neighbors think he was robbēd.

As early as 7 am, they were knocking on his door to console hīm.

"Brother Josh, I hēard you scream at night. It seems you were robbēd. I just wanted to sympathize with you, my condolences. It is well. They didn't even hūrt you. Wow you're lucky. Eāch and every one of us here has been robbēd but none still lōoked as fresh as you. The lord is your armour"

He had stood speechless, not knowing how to narrate his ordeal. This was the fifth neighbor.

"Umm Josh, are you ok? You're not saying anything? Why do you look so frightened. Cheer up, the armed robbers are gone"

After hearing this from my friend, I stopped goīng out at night to urīnate. Infact, I developed a phobīa for urinating outside at night.

I was doing well until yesterday evening. I was returning from work by 10:40 pm, humming, catwalking and singing one of this blue songs. Enjoying the moment and shaking my head, oblivious of the fact that no single human was on the road.

I was so happy and needed to lift my spirits. The breeze was cool. The silence tempting. The trees dancing giving off cool breeze.

My voice suddenly became mēlodious. All my life, I had never knew I could sing like that. I cleared my throat and even increased the tempo. OMG!

"See voice" I imagined someone saying that to me.

Few poles to my house, I even employed dance moves. Then I saw something white, moving like a cat. I froze and forgot my lines. My voice cēased. My legs began to shake. My mind began to convince me it was bush baby. My head was already composing a baby cry.

At that point I remembered Jesus. I began to bind in my mind. Then this church song entered my heart "Come and fight my battle, fight my battle
Papa fight my battle, fight my battle
Holy ghost fight my battle, fight my battle"

With that song, I received strength and started shouting it. The way it looked at me. It was as if the cat laughed and said "make I just free you, blues singer". It was in a happy mood and catwalked into the nearby bush.

I heaved a sigh of relief and contīnuēd my journey, this time with speed. My heart beating timkpom timkpom.

My neck was stressed out more than my legs, because I had to turn like 100 times, to be sure the cat did not change it's mind. I had to evēn walk with my back facing the front, like someone walking with her back. When I made sure the coast was clear, I walked normally and murmured "Thank you Jesus" I said and began another set of worship "Thank you, thank you Lord, thank you Lord, thank you Lord, for everything, you've done!"

My step changed to it's normal way. I was close to the gate when I saw something black moving towards my direction, with speed. I picked up my a stick, ready to scare whatever it was. Instead, the thing's speed increased times too. Omo I didn't have to act like a cool Christian this time, I dived towards the gate. My clothe tore at the armpits because of the diving. I never knew I had such defense skills.

Gbim it opēned and I ran inside and locked it. Only for me to peep through the holes and find out it was Black Nylon that was chasing me.

When I was a child and a tooth🦷 of mine would fall out, I would place that tooth under my pillow and hope the tooth fairy 🧚‍♀️ would come during the night as I slept. To my excitement the tooth fairy did come. I would find 50naira under my pillow in replacement for that tooth. 50naira bought you alot in the early 90s 😁. On another occasion when another tooth had fallen out, I decided to write the tooth fairy a letter 📝. In this Ietter I had apologised for the state of my tooth, it had a hole or one of those black fillings in it 😂 and being a child I thought the tooth fairy wouldn't be happy. To my surprise😲 the tooth fairy did come, my tooth was gone but there was no money, what I found was a tiny little note with tiny little writing and it was covered in what I believed to be fairy dust ✨. The note was from the fairies. They thanked me for my tooth and told me that the tooth fairy could only give me money for a nice good tooth. Although I received no money, my note from the fairies was the best ever. I called out to my Mum. Mum!! Mum!! I told her what had happened, the tooth fairy had taken my tooth but left me a note. Mum smiled 😊 at me as she did and told me how lucky I was and how special it was that the tooth fairy left me that note. That settled it, I was convinced and excited that tooth fairies were real. My tooth fairy was a very special person 💕 and through her actions, I am fortunate to have these childhood memories which I have been able to recreate for other little girls to get enjoyment from.
Thanks Mum, my fairy angel xx 🧚‍♀️ 😇 ❤️

HOW WOULD YOU DISCIPLINE AN ONLY CHILD?

As I was running like Flash to get home before the poo poo in "bum bum" will disgrace it's ancestors not me, I noticed Aunty Nekky, the seamstress near our house, ,flogging her 5 year old daughter.

"So a girl of your age cannot help her mother to bring out things from the shop, idiot !"

She screamed at the little innocent girl who was crying while entering the shop to probably bring out the transparent bucket used in show casing " a strong flour recipe" we call "KPOMBE".

Two of that KPOMBE can hold hunger for the next 48 hours. No cap.

As I was offloading the rubbish I have eaten for the past one week because of SAPA, sweating like someone that ran a marathon race with the Kenyans, I started having thoughts on why Aunty Nekky would be flogging her daughter that way because she didn't help her, A 5 year old for that matter.

My thoughts gave me some reasons for her disciplinary action on the girl.

Firstly, Aunty Nekky was the only surviving girl out of 5 girls that was born to her parents, she had 3 other brothers.

Despite being the only girl, she was severely disciplined which evidently helped her throughout the cause of her life.

So she wants give her daughter the same disciplined her parents gave her.

Secondly, the girl is her first child after a year of marriage and since then she had no more kids.
So she does not want her only child and a girl at that to be lazy and indisciplined.

This disciplinary acts made her daughter to be obsessed with greetings, she could greet you even if she saw you 20 times a day.

But regardless of this reasons and perspective, I have some questions.

1. Must we give our kids the same disciplinary act that our parents used on us?

2. Did our parents disciplinary actions really affects our behaviours later in life?

3. Are there not pampered children that have good manners and disciplined kids that are waywards?

How would you disciplined an only child?

So today is Sunday I went to church and our Reverend was newly transferred and another was brought to us and this is his first Sunday with us so his liturgy and pattern was so so different that at some point I started to doubt and ask if indeed he was a man of God, when we were giving out our offerings we went out to cast it and he stood by the offering and he will be telling people is this what you want to give to God that you should search your pocket for another money , what Happened today really affected me I ended up not casting my offering. Be mindful of the kind of pastors you submit to.