Funny/Hilarious Stories & Experiences

Some months ago I wrote JAMB and luckily I passed. Then I ran all the procedures before admission and was now waiting for admission.

While waiting for admission,I had my mind filled up with how and what I'll do when I get admitted
Firstly, I'll not stay in the hotel,but I'll have my own apartment,talking of apartment shey na me go pay. Mtcheew
Then,since am not a fan of garri but I've been managing since Tinubu regime,I told myself that am not going to go with garri,but that was only my plan sha cos it was in my mind. And other plans of attending every fellowship.
Thank God i was admitted into the university. Two weeks before the resumption,I told my parents about an apartment close to the school and the readily accept and I was very happy cos I thought it was gonna be hard to convince them.
Well,my happiness was short lived when I was texted my hostel payment receipts and my room number. Sha I can not underestimate my parents.
Plan A failed, I still got plan B sha, I told my parents to forget about giving me garri but should give other things double in exchange for the garri.
But two weeks after resumption,na me become prodigal,Campus shege wan finish me, I called home, although I was chastised but my garri was sent😁😁
University life no be for small pikin

I remember one evening, as I was getting ready for bed, I noticed the weather was a bit chilly because it had just stopped drizzling some moments ago. Normally, I love to sleep when it's cold outside, it made it easier for me to sleep and last in sleep longer. But that night, for reasons I still don’t fully understand, I made the decision to leave my fan on despite the already cold weather.

So, there I was, folding on my bed in satisfaction with the fan blowing cool air all around me. I closed my eyes, fell off to sleep, and just after I fell asleep, I fell into a weird dream.

In my dream, I was walking through a dark, raining forest. The rain was pouring down and I was getting soaked. The dream was so real that I asked myself in the dream what i was doing in such a cold environment.
I looked around, shivering uncontrollably, and it hit me that I was dreaming.
My fan had inspired this wet nightmare.

Suddenly, I jumped up from my bed, fully awake and confused. I looked around as if I had just escaped some wild creature.
I thought a little and I realized my fan was still blowing with force, blasting me with cold air.

Without giving it a second thought, I flew out of the bed and unplugged it. No be me fan go kill.

My Dad once told me a funny story from when he was still a student. He said in their neighborhood, The EFCC, which is a group that checks for bad people, we all know what they do came to visit.
Everyone was scared because they were knocking on doors and some doors were broken.

He said that people started to hide because they didn’t want to be seen. My dad was really scared too, but he stayed quiet in his room. He listened as he heard loud bangs and people whispering.

The EFCC went from house to house, searching for people. They knocked louder and louder and all of a sudden, the noises died down and they head their vehicles zoom off.

After they left, everyone was curious about what happened. They came out of their hiding spots to see what happened by checking each room one by one. Then, they opened the door to a room next to my dad’s. When they walked in, they saw it was empty. But my dad said that as they were about closing the door, they heard a loud noise crash to the floor.

The guy who lived in that room had been hiding on the roof, But when he heard his neighbour's voice might have tried to come down but slipped and fell down through the ceiling.
Dust and pieces of the ceiling were everywhere.
He was covered with dust and cobwebs as he remained on the floor and laughed at himself, everyone was laughing despite the tension earlier.

The first time I had to leave my state for the first time, to another state for my university education, where I didn't have any relative. It was a moment I will never forget, I had to tearfully say goodbye to my friends and colleagues at place of work, I cried like a baby. My parents asked me where I'll sleep before renting a house for myself, I told them not to worry and travelled without any hesitation.

During the journey, I refused to let myself get bothered with how I'm going to sleep, bath or go about things, I just kept thinking about my family and friends, and how much I was missing them already. I arrived the state late in the evening and got to the university gate by 8 pm. Walking into the university, it was so cold, and quiet, with street lights shining on a long and wide interlocked path.

I found myself where to sit and relax, it's been a long journey and I was really hungry and tired, but saw no where to buy food nor snacks, and it was certainly not gonna be a night for a premium rest, because I had nowhere to sleep. I called my family to tell them that I had arrived, my father asked if I had where to sleep, I answered yes and told him I was fine, because I didn't want to stir up worries and unnecessary tension.

I went there with my school bag which contained my clothes, cup, sponge, soap, toothbrush, and my documents, it's funny, the way my house had a basic set of house tools. I felt safe inside the school environment, so I looked for a convenient, safe and hidden spot which was the veranda of the school library, laid some clothes on the floor and slept on it. The night very cold with cold breeze blowing in a turbulent manner, I couldn't sleep well, but I sha slept.

The school security came to me and asked why I was sleeping there, I narrated my story to them and they left me in peace. Very early in the morning, around 5 am, I woke up and took my bath in a running tap I found there, I used my cup as a scooper to pour the water on my body, brushed my teeth and changed my clothes, and once everywhere was bright, I quickly bought snacks to eat and went about my registration and clearance activities.

At the end of the day, I returned to my sleeping spot and this time a very heavy rain fell, it was terrible cold throughout the night, I was shaking. The same security met me again and I told them I wasn't able to go in search for a house to rent, and they understood. Woke up very early again, bathed, brushed and once it was morning, I decided to go and find a house, I prayed to God that I didn't want to walk up to 15 minutes before finding a house to rent.

Surprisingly, I walked straight to a house that had only one vacant room, God had answered that prayer, faster than I imagined, I rented that house. My landlady asked when I'm moving into the house, I told her I've moved in already. There was nothing in the house, so I slept in the floor, at least it was better than sleeping outside in the cold. I gradually purchased the house equipments I needed, and began my university journey in earnest, I find this story inspiring. I wanted to see how unique my survival skills are and how best I could take care of myself. I did great.

Last night, I decided to take Fearless drink so I could stay awake. It was my second time trying it, but the first time was during the day, so I didn’t notice anything unusual. I didn’t expect that it would mess with my sleep. I was just trying to stay alert and finish some work.

Once I went to bed, I kept waking up every single hour until morning. At first, I didn’t even think it had anything to do with the drink. I just thought maybe I wasn’t tired enough, I’d fall asleep, and the next thing, I’m awake again.

When I finally got up in the morning, the first thing I did was go to the bathroom. That’s when I noticed something strange, I was urinating way more than usual. But even then, I brushed it off, thinking maybe I drank too much water before bed or something simple like that.

By 10 am, I was so tired from the messed up night that I ended up falling asleep again. I didn’t wake up until 3pm. After I woke up, I found myself rushing to the bathroom once again, passing out more urine. That’s when I mentioned it to my roommate, and she was quick to point out I had taken Fearless. It hit me that the drink was responsible.

After that realization, I didn’t waste any time. I grabbed the bottle, and without a second thought, I threw it in the trash. I wasn’t about to mess with that stuff again, especially knowing how it messed up my body like that.
Next time, I’ll definitely think twice before buying an energy drink, especially late at night.

When I was much little I loved the kind of hair I had I always flaunt it at the slightest given time. it was so curly and glossy and amongst my friends my hair was the best even better than the girls hair in my class to was the perfect definition of Mr handsome and my hair Indeed complimented my steeze. I was given special treatment and favour by my teachers and principal they ask every guy to keep a low cut but because of the nature of my hair they don't send me at all so I guess I was privileged.

So calamity struck when my hair started feeling itchy and I always have a burning sensation but I never thought about what was wrong just thought it was normal but it increases on a daily I kept it to my self for two months and I my hair started falling off and I had patches on my head that was when my mum noticed she took me to the clinic I was diagnosed of a scalp infection that no one knows from where it came from I was served the hottest heartbreak when I was asked to cut my hair for treatment to be administered I ran from the clinic.

My mum gave me heavy persuasions about cutting my hair but when the itch and sensations became more serious I just gave in but I cried so much that night when my hair left because it was Sunday the next day was Monday so i was so reluctant to go to school because of the glory i attained with my hair. So I went I just stepped into my class and it was indeed an ovation and a bombshell to them there was a mighty roar of laughter I cried so hard and they gave me a new name because of my hair cut " SCREEN TOUCH "

After church yesterday, I decided to do some cleaning in my room. As I was sweeping and dusting off my old books, I came across upon a course textbook from my university days. I remembered how much I hated that subject back then. It brought back memories, mostly of frustration and night classes filled with confusion.

Out of curiosity, I decided to sit down and flip through the notes. As I read through the pages, something interesting happened. Concepts that had once seemed impossible to know started to click, everything began to make sense. I couldn't believe it was the same content that had driven me crazy before.

I thought about all those late nights I spent attending extra classes, desperately trying to understand the subject. I recall feeling overwhelmed, sitting in the back of the class, staring at the lecturer, and wondering why I couldn’t grasp what everyone else seemed to find so easy. I worked hard, but all I managed to get was a D.

But now, looking back, those memories don’t feel so bad. They remind me of my perseverance and that it’s okay to struggle sometimes; it’s part of the journey

was sitting in my room and trying to read some books when I heard a shoe mender walked through the compound with the popular beats they made by hitting their tool box with an iron to announce their presence.

I quickly ran out of my room and beckoned on him, while he approached, I went inside to get my pair of shoes which had loosened threads.

Tomorrow which is sartuday, I plan to go for jogging in the popular stadium around school, it has been about 3 weeks again when I went fkr jogging last and I wanted nothing to discourage me, not my shoe.

what the shoe mender needed to sew was just a little work but he started calling surprising prices, I'm still wondering why he would even think of such price as if his needle and thread cost more than a litre of petrol.

I quickly gave him a side look before he came back to order and then proposed a fair price which I still bargained with until it fitted my budget.
No be from my hand person go take collect jackpot.

I want to tell a story of a very remarkable incident that happened some years back.

See ehh, we had a farm land behind our family house, and this farm shared a common boundary with another land owner who as at then had a fencing project on.

We had banana plantations located throughout our farm and then, there were about 3 of these plantations that outgrew, crossing the boundary of our farmland into this other
man's property.

We have been harvesting from those other plantations too even though it was not on our farmland any longer, but it was still our crop.

After the man was done fencing his property, we lost access to our crop and then, there came a day when we were asked to pay a certain fee in school.
I didn't want to disturb my parents, so I found a means with the help of my brother, I climbed on the fence to survey what once were our banana, and at that point, I spotted two bunch of mature bananas dangling majestically. I knew how much I could have these heads of bananas sold for and the balance I'll still end up with after paying up the fee in school from the sale proceeds.

I had cut the first bunch when I heard a roaring voice shout to my direction, it was the owner of the farm!
That was the day I knew I had superhuman skills, because the way I flipped from that wall ehhhn.
Hapuzie Akiko.

So while in school, my dad had always told me how he had usually burnt his candle light everyday in his school days to read.
So i decided to try mine today and here's what happened.

Coming back from school,I decided to buy a candle stick to use for my experiment at night cos I was determined to see our it felt to read with a candle light cos I grew up reading with a lamp.
After everything,everybody went to sleep and I went to our study room to try it out.

I led the candle but funnily, I slept up few minutes into the reading not until I felt a hot feeling on my finger which was the dissolved wax of the candle.

I saw that the candle was already in its last stage there I discovered that its not how long the candle burn but how far you read while the candle lit that matters but I also knew that its better you used the method convenient to you in order to achieve your aim

Yes, can I say the old days were good or can I say it was just there? Let's get down to the memory lane...
The 21st century kids may see this as a story and certainly it is but for those who have a first hand experience will tell the story better how it was. Before the coming of electronic irons this was the international iron. How this was able to straighten your clothes without getting burnt was shocking. How you'll iron your clothes and the smoke is not there was still a wonder and puzzle to crack but then these questions are yet to be answered.
📌Who discovered a metal can straighten fabric?
📌Who discovered if heat is applied it can straighten it and not burn it when it's moderated?
Such person(s) must be a guru... Today this masterpiece is gradually fading with the introduction of her superior called ELECTRONIC IRON we will only have it at home to show our next generation what we use to have in those days. Today I bring to remembrance and to celebrate our legendary CHARCOAL IRON.
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Have a great day ahead

I was lying on my bed, looking at funny videos on my phone. Suddenly, I felt a sharp sting on my back. It felt like electric shock reaching down my bones! I jumped up like a kangaroo!

I turned on my flashlight and shined it on my back and onto my pillow, and voila, there it was- A little scorpion! It had its tail all chargedup and waiting for the next round.
I was kind of scared and relieved, scared that a scorpion had stung me and relieved because it was a little one though the pain was still nailing it's way on my back.

I thought, No way I’m letting this tiny monster get away So I looked around and found my lighter. I felt like a superhero. But before I went to get my lighter, I had flicked it to the floor, carefully trapping the scorpion in a cup.

When I removed the cup, I started with it's arched tail and burnt the hell out of it. I wished that there were more severe punishment that I could administer, but I was out of thoughts.
It didn't take a second before it laid stale there, I wanted it running around while I burnt it but by bit.

While I was coming back from work, I passed a group of men playing Whot at a bar. They were laughing and having a good time. Among them, I noticed someone dressed like a man, in native attire, just like the rest of them. At first, I didn’t think much of it. The person blended in so well that I almost kept walking without a second look.

But something made me stop. The way this person moved, how confident they seemed, caught my attention. I looked closer. Their head was completely shaved, and their face looked very serious. I waited and tried to figure it out.

Then she stood up and her chest was visible 😂 this was a woman!. How could she be sitting there, right in the middle of all those men, playing cards and laughing like she was one of them? She looked and acted just like a man, and there was no sign of any difference. Her son was even dragging her native wear.

I admired her courage anyway. It wasn’t just about how she looked; it was the way she carried herself. Even though I nearly laughed but maybe, that's how she wants to be seen and it's nobody's business.

One married lady who was owing me money refuse to pick my calls whenever I called her.

So, when I notice that her husband was not at home, I sent her a message that goes thus, "Hello, I'm not calling because of the money you are owing me, I only want to inform you that two ladies were fighting over your husband in the town. It was a big fight and he was just there watching, until one of the ladies managed to escape into his car and they drove off".

Before I could say Jack, her call start coming in which I refuse to pick until I found twenty one missed calls and a message which read:

"Where was the fight? Where did they go? Did you Notice those girls? Please tell me, I am falling apart."

I read the message and I did not respond. She called I didn't pick her call, then another message from her that read "I have your money, please can we meet, so you tell me more?"

Then I replied, "Okay, you can Send it through my Opay which is my mobile number, so that when I am coming, I will pass by the filling station to refuel, then I will pick you and drive you to one of the ladies house because I know them."

After like five minutes, I checked my account balance, my money was fully paid.

I then switched off my phone and slept like a baby.

Please, kindly tell me, do I do the right thing?

Happy New Month.

When the handle of my knife broke, it was like the start of a bad habit. My roommate and I kept procrastinating buying a new one, telling ourselves we'd do it soon. Instead, we started buying food from outside almost every day. On the days we felt like cooking, we had to borrow a knife from our neighbor. It worked, but it wasn’t ideal.

Each time I had to ask for the neighbor’s knife, I felt a bit uncomfortable. I didn’t like the idea of using someone else’s things every time I wanted to cook. It made me feel like I was always bothering them, even though they didn’t seem to mind. Still, it wasn’t a great feeling.

At one point, my friend who was traveling close to my hometown offered to help. I asked him to pick up a knife from my parents’ place. It seemed like a perfect solution, but when he got back, he had forgotten all about it. I was frustrated, but I couldn’t blame him.

Today, though, I hit my breaking point. I couldn’t bear the thought of borrowing the neighbor's knife again. So, I decided to search for a new one myself. I walked around, determined to find a place where I could buy a decent knife. After some effort, I finally found a shop that had what I needed.

Now that I have the knife, I feel relieved. It’s a simple thing, but it makes a big difference. No more procrastinating, no more borrowing from the neighbor. I’m just glad I can cook in peace again.

About a week ago, I went to the market. I had moved to a new place, and my room looked empty. I wanted to buy curtains for my windows. My friend had said to buy thin curtains because they were cheap, but I did not listen. I wanted thick and colorful curtains.

When I reached the market, it was busy. I walked around and saw many shops. The thick curtains looked nice. They had colors like blue, green, and red. I thought they would look great in my room.

I felt happy and asked the price. I thought they would cost about 6,000 or 7,000 naira. But when I asked, the shop owner said the thick curtains cost 25,000 and 50,000 naira. I felt sad. I could not spend that much money on curtains.

I left the shop and started to think. I remembered my friend’s advice about the thin curtains. I walked back to some stalls I had seen before. I looked at the thin curtains and found some nice ones. I picked a few colors I liked.

With my 5,000 or 4,000 naira, I bought some thin curtains. They were not what I had wanted at first, but they looked good. I felt happy as I walked home. Simple curtains could make my room feel warm and nice.

As I was leaving class today after a lecture, I watched somd studente from another department rush off to their business exams.

Everyone was moving quickly and their faces tense with worry. Suddenly, I noticed a short guy running with all his energy. While everyone else was just Hasty, he looked like he was running for his very life.

We couldn’t stop ourselves from laughing at the sight. It was a moment that cooled the tension due to stress that was in the air.
To describe the guy and what made the view such a funnily one was that, this black short guy had very baggy plain trousers on and tucked in with his afro hairstyle. It was all funny.

I headed home, still chuckling about the guy who raced like he had a deadline to beat, papa been carry the exam for head.

Today was fun but also hectic. My neighbour got married today and after a smooth traditional wedding yesterday, today Was one disaster after another.
My neighbour slept at my house last night because theirs was filled with guests who were sleeping over so we all stayed up chatting, the bride didn't sleep until after 2am so she woke up late.
We wanted to wake her up but the Make up artist told us to allow her wake on her own so that her face will not be bloated. Aunty slept till almost 7:30 meanwhile the wedding will commence by 10 and from the house to the church is about 30minutes.

When she woke up, it was a rush to get her prepared in time and luckily we were able to finish everything before nine. Lets go to the church now, driver was no where to be found, we called and called but his phone was off, by then it was already after nine, the house was almost empty because the others have already gone to the church, even her bridesmaids had all gone. It was just Her, her sister, her chief bridesmaid, the makeup artist and me.
We had to call the groom to send a car from the church, this was already nine thirty and that means before the car arrives, it will be almost ten and it would take us another thirty minutes to reach the church.
Luckily a few minutes later, the original driver arrived and we asked him what happened. The werey was busy picking up the grooms relatives and dropping them off at the church, can you imagine?
Anyway, The bride and her chief left in the car and the rest of us took chartered a taxi to the church.
Arriving at the church, we encountered another problem. After raging and shouting at the bride, asking why she was late, the pastor's wife began to complain that her dress was too long, that the thing was dragging on the floor and she wants the brides shoes to be visible. We literally had to pin up the hem of the gown so that her shoes could show only then did the wedding commence.
When we got to the reception nko? The designers that were told make a high table setting for twelve people made for only eight and they had to set another table last minute right there in the presence of the guests.
Anyway, the day is over and there was surplus food😂 I wish them a very happy married life and a blissful home.

Last week, my fat friend came over for a visit, and I was really looking forward to it. We’ve been friends for a long time, and I’ve always been supportive and never made him feel bad about his weight or size. I figured it would be just another fun hangout like usual.

We had fixed a date for him to come over, and I was excited to catch up. But honestly, I didn’t think much about my furniture before he arrived. I mean, my seats and bed have seen better days, but they’ve always worked for me.

When he finally got here, we settled down to chat and enjoy each other's company. That’s when it happened. He sat down on one of my chairs, and I could hear this terrible cracking sound. Before I knew it, the seat broke right underneath him! I felt so embarrassed; I didn’t know what to say. I reassured him that it was alright and that it had probably been on its last legs anyway.

But then, things got even worse. As the visit went on and we were having a good time, he accidentally spilled something on my bed. It soaked through the sheets, and I knew I was going to have to deal with that later.

Since then, I've been avoiding his visits.
I think the first day signs was a sign to something.
Let's see how it goes shaa.

I was returning from a friend's place wheb i caught a site that made my day, this place was well-known in the neighborhood for selling fine sand, strong blocks, and bricks for construction. It was a building construction industry or whatever you choose to call it.

While I passed by, I noticed something interesting. A man in a nice suit was standing at the counter, looking very out of place among the piles of sand and bricks. He seemed wealthy, and his shiny shoes looked out of place in the muddy area. He was talking to the seller, who looked like the manager of the site. They were having a lively conversation.

The site manager, with a friendly smile, was explaining the types of sand they had. He bent down and grabbed a handful of fine sand, holding it up dramatically as if it were something very special. I was curious about what the rich man would do next. Normally, someone like him would just look and nod, thinking about the quality of the sand for a project.

But instead, the rich man looked a bit confused. He paused for a moment, frowning slightly as he stared at the sand in the site manager's hand not knowing what to do.
But rather than stepping back or acting like he didnt know what to do, he also stretched his hands for the site manager to pour in the sand.

I couldn't hold my laughter any longer, though I knew it was unciviliced that I should laugh, but I did and the site manager broke down lauhing off his breath.

Normally, the sand buyer was supposed to just observe the fine sand closely but he decoded to play with the sand just not to act like he was a novice.

I woke up today with a funny thought and i knew that something will happen today.

I prepared myself for the day's ahead,at least my lecture was by 7:00 am and me waking up by 6:49 shows how serious I am with my morning lectures.

Well by 7:10 am I was already on my way to the lecture class when the funny thought flashed in my head and I laughed,but today I must maintain my steeze o

After lectures that morning, I remained in class cos my intuitions are never wrong. I stayed for almost 20 minutes when I heard some noises outside then I knew it has happened finally

It didn't take more than 10 secs, I was out trying to figure out what was happening when I was knocked down by a huge object oh was it a human maybe I don't know but he kept moving while I tried standing up with the noise increasing

Finally I saw this man dragging a student by the collar and was shouting how disappointed he was at him. I knew tha instant that was his father

Well, I followed,not only me sha but I wanted to see what was going and where he was heading to until they reached the office of the head of department for Agriculture.

Everyone was at a standstill while this man was panting hard, lol. Our HOD came out and boom the man pushed his son to him calling him his student

It dawned on me that the man wants his son to study Agriculture as he shows his displeasure on his son studying electrical engineering instead of Agriculture

He was furious that his son wants to get himself killed by electrocution that is rampant now but would not allowed it not when he's alive.

Some students were already laughing but I wasn't cause even if the man is showing the love he has for his son in the wrong way but its worth it, I mean who would want his son to die before him.

Before he went home that the day everything was sorted out but I learnt a lesson tho in a funny way