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Funny/Hilarious Stories & Experiences

Read interesting Funny/Hilarious stories from this online community.
 
 

Lizard the Champ

Lizard the Champ
Once in the animal kingdom, there was a lion who constantly boasted about being the strongest and most fearsome creature around. He would challenge any animal he crossed paths with, and time and again, he would prove his dominance at the field of battle. When his opponents gave up, the lion would chase after and eat them, much to the cheering and medal-giving joy of the village.

One day, a very confident lizard with a quick wit and loads of courage arrived in the kingdom, accompanied by his friend, a wise old goat. The lion, not expecting anything different, immediately challenged the lizard to a battle. Normally, when the lion charged, his opponents would scatter in fear, but this time, the lizard stood his ground, much to the surprise of everyone.

The lion, taken aback and bewildered, saw the lizard approaching with precision and determination, not a hint of fear in his eyes. Startled and nervous, the lion hesitated and then turned and ran for dear life, leaving the lizard nodding with satisfaction and proudly collecting all the medals from the awestruck onlookers.

From that day on, the lizard's unexpected courage and bravery earned him a reputation as the greatest warrior of all time in the animal kingdom. Even the lion couldn't argue with the new title, and the village erupted into celebration, marveling at the newfound hero, who had proven that sometimes, the smallest and most unassuming creatures could achieve the most astonishing victories.

@kingsleysom would win 2000 NGN in if this story gets 15+ likes and higher likes than other stories of Sun, 25th Feb. 2024.
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100k palava

Yesterday afternoon, while I was just moving up and down the street aimlessly. I saw a couple of guys jumping over a fence. I mean big Big guys.

I was amused, so I decided to watch what they were doing. They would jump over the fence and repeat it again. So I decided to ask one brother what they were doing.

He replied: it's fence competition they're doing ".
"Fence competition?" I asked.
Yes bro". He replied. But that kind of play are for kids now". I said.

Not really, the person who jumps over that fence successfully without touching the fence would go home with 100k". The guy said. When I heard 100k, my brain flew off to space.All I wanted to do was to jump over that fence. I mean why can't I jump ordinary fence?
Haha!

When I decided to jump over the fence, you need to see the way they were hailing me.
"Jaguar! Jaguar! Lekan! Jaguar!".
My babe was even there, she added salt and pepper: "you can do this baby! Jump! Fly like an Eagle ".

Ah, my head was swelling. To the extent that I removed my slipper. Removed my top too. And then I ran towards the so called fence.

This was my lucky day! That 100k was mine! I was gonna make it! Well...not really. Because immediately I jumped, the last thing I heard was kpraaa! And then, I tumbled for like 59 times.

I later end up in the hospital .πŸ₯

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Stubborn Nubu

Stubborn Nubu
Once upon a time, there was a mischievous housefly named Nubu. Nubu was an expert at making life difficult for the human race. He would gleefully perch on their food, buzz around their heads, trouble their wounds by trying to have a taste, and even patch on their clothes. No matter how many times his family warned him to be careful and minimize his pranks, Nubu just wouldn't listen. He was a rebel fly, causing chaos wherever he went.

One fateful day, Nubu found himself in a house that was being fumigated. He had been too busy exploring a kitchen to notice the ominous smell of chemicals. Before he knew it, the house was filled with thick fog, leaving the poor housefly gasping for air. Panicked, Nubu barely escaped the deadly fumes, and after that traumatizing experience, he realized he needed to make some changes.

From then on, Nubu stuck to farms, far from human houses. He quickly became known as the "fly who stayed away," telling tales of the harrowing fumigation incident. Even as other flies tempted him with stories of delicious crumbs and tempting garbage cans near human homes, Nubu stood his ground. He just couldn't risk what he experienced that day again.

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Never argue with a women

Never argue with a woman, just use your
brains like this my guy.
A man went on a night out with his
friends the wife is furious and tells
the kids that when he comes back
they must not open the door for him.
At about12 o'clock the man comes
back and knocks...
the Wife tells him "go sleep where your
coming from " and the man
answered" I'm not here to sleep my
dia , I'm here to collect condoms in
my room on top of the table or give it
to me,
there'r lots of women at the party!"
The wife opened the door and said
"idiot" you are not going anywhere. Enter the house.

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Laugh away your sorrow

Laugh away your sorrow
Me: Amaka I want to die, let me just die 😩, this life is so mean and cruel, I can't continue anymore I want to die.

Amaka: shut up, clean that thing you call mouth, how will you wish such for yourself, don't you know there is powers in spoken words, abi didn't they tell you that your tongue is powerful.

Me: So there's power in a spoken word?

Amaka: Of course yes, please don't say such again, please

Me: Okay then I want to win 60m on sporty this weekend.

Amaka: laughing uncontrollably

Me: why you dey laugh na, or do you think am joking?, Am serious I want to win 60m this weekend.

Amaka: still laughing, shut up abeg na mouth you go use win am?, abeg go and sit down and think about your life

Me: 😒😭😭

Please share πŸ₯ΊπŸ™ and enjoy your day

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A lesson by a Bee

A lesson by a Bee
Agba was known for his antics and his fondness for visiting the cashew tree down the road to throw stones at the ripe and unripe fruits. His mother always warned him to stay away from the tree, but Agba was as stubborn as a mule and never heeded her advice.

One sunny day, Agba, being his usual stubborn self, sneaked off to the cashew tree, determined to have another go at his favorite hobby. As he lobbed stones at the fruit bunches, a mischievous bee dived down from the leaves and aimed straight for Agba's lips, leaving him with a resounding sting and a comically swollen pout.

Wincing in pain, Agba dashed back home to his mother, shouting in distress. By the time he reached home, his lips had swelled up, making him look like a comical caricature of himself. The other children in the village couldn't help but burst into laughter at the sight of Agba's ridiculous face.

His mother, trying hard not to giggle, took one look at her son's swollen lips and immediately reached for a bottle of red oil. As she rubbed the oil on his lips, she couldn't contain the urge to laugh, but she fought hard to keep a straight face, knowing Agba was in pain.

In the end, the swelling went down, and Agba learned his lesson. From that day on, he never went near the cashew tree again. The incident became a source of amusement in the village, and whenever Agba tried to act stubborn, all his mother had to say was, "Remember the bees and the cashew tree," and Agba would quickly change his mind.

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Missing purse

Missing purse
Today was supposed to be a simple trip to the market, but it turned into a wild purse-chase adventure! It all started when I hopped onto a public car, purse in hand, ready to tackle my shopping list. Little did I know, this innocent ride would become a comedy of errors.

As the car rattled along, I suddenly realized with a sinking feeling in my stomach that my purse had vanished into thin air. Panic set in, and I immediately suspected that a pickpocket had struck during the hustle and bustle of the journey. Determined to get to the bottom of this, I turned into the world's most enthusiastic detective.

I frantically searched through the passengers, mumbling apologies as I dug through their bags and pockets. The looks on their faces ranged from confusion to amusement as I carried out my impromptu investigation. I was sure the culprit was among us and there I was, giving the FBI a run for their money in my pursuit of justice!

Alas, my efforts were in vain, and the bus reached its destination without my purse in tow. Defeated but still hopeful, I thanked the passengers for their cooperation, believing in my heart that they were good people who tried to help. As I trudged back home with a heavy heart, I couldn't help but replay the craziness of it all in my mind.

But wait for it...the punchline was waiting for me at home. Lo and behold, as I walked through the door, I spotted my purse nonchalantly lounging on the table. I was dumbfounded! It dawned on me that in my rush to leave the house, I had left the purse behind when I was struggling to wrangle my shoes onto my feet.

Feeling equal parts relieved and embarrassed, I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

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Me vs Rat

Me vs Rat
I was minding my own business, relaxing in my room, a rather uninvited guest made its grand entranceβ€”a sneaky, beady-eyed rat. Now, I've always considered myself composed in the face of adversity, but when it comes to a scurrying rodent in my personal space, my calm facade quickly disintegrated.

Despite my best efforts, the crafty critter managed to evade my every attempt to corner it, employing a tantalizing combination of acrobatic leaps and lightning-fast sprints to keep me thoroughly flummoxed. It mocked my futile attempts at capturing it with a casual flick of its tail, leaving me exasperated.

Determined to banish the audacious interloper from my territory, I launched a full-scale campaign, arming myself with an impressive arsenal of homemade contraptions and makeshift traps. I concocted a maze of buckets and broomsticks, thinking it would outsmart this wily adversary, only to watch as the rat effortlessly leaped over each obstacle with an almost clown-like grace, leaving my strategizing in tatters.

I then resorted to availing myself of a broom, thinking I borrowed some of the dexterity of a seasoned ninja, only to find myself engaged in a slapstick ballet around the room, resulting in nothing more than a light-hearted chase that attracted a few curious glances from passing family members.

Finally, I mustered the most daring scheme yet – the valiant, albeit seemingly absurd, effort to charm the rat into submission with an impromptu recital of show tunes and an array of questionable dance moves. My spirited rendition managed to draw the attention of a few equally perplexed neighbors who quite possibly questioned if I had lost my mind.

As a final act of desperation, feeling like a character straight out of a movie, i shifted to a side, held the door open and hoped it came out of hiding. Lo and behold, my impromptu musical offering seemed to work, and to my own astonishment and resounding relief, my unwelcome visitor finally scampered out from its hideaway

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Benny and his parrot

In the quirky town of Chuckleville, there lived a man named Benny, whose sense of humor was so contagious that even his pet parrot couldn't stop squawking with laughter. One day, Benny decided he would attempt the ultimate feat of comedy – entering the prestigious Chuckleville Comedy Festival.

Benny, armed with a rubber chicken, a whoopee cushion, and a knack for puns, set out to win over the festival judges. The competition was fierce, with comedians doing everything from juggling spaghetti to telling jokes in reverse.

Benny stepped onto the stage, clad in rainbow-colored socks and a polka-dot bowtie. He began with a classic knock-knock joke that had the audience in stitches. But Benny was just getting started.

He pulled out the rubber chicken and, to everyone's surprise, made it tell a series of poultry-inspired puns that had the judges and the audience clucking with laughter. The whoopee cushion made an appearance at just the right moment, adding a symphony of unexpected sounds to Benny's routine.

As Benny continued, his parrot, perched in the audience, joined in with a perfect imitation of Benny's infectious laughter, creating a hilarious echo that left everyone in tears.

The grand finale involved Benny attempting to ride a unicycle while juggling rubber chickens and telling knock-knock jokes simultaneously. The crowd erupted in cheers as Benny, with a goofy grin, somehow managed to pull it off.

To everyone's amazement, Benny not only won the Chuckleville Comedy Festival but also became a local legend. Chuckleville, already a town known for its laughter-filled streets, now had a hero in Benny – the man who turned a simple rubber chicken into the funniest act in town.

And so, Benny and his parrot continued to spread joy and laughter, leaving Chuckleville forever echoing with the sounds of merriment.

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How I met a strange woman today

I saw a woman today , she was on bike and she stopped me, so I had to cross to the other side to meet her thinking she wants to ask me to give her directions cause the bike man that was carrying her is a hausa man...........
On getting to her, I noticed that it seems she's blind but when I look at her closely it's only one of her eyes that is blind..
Behold he grab me by the hand and start asking me some questions that's irritating, asking me what's my tribe, the type of work I do, where I came from, have I married.... After answering all those questions, she said I should give her money for her medications and transport fare... I was like shey me myself I don get medicine for myself... She is still holding my hand oooo, I didn't even know that some old women even get strength pass we youth ganseff, cos all effort to get rid of her hand from mine went in vain.........
I decided to summon courage even though am scared deep down,. I ask her where she was going and where she is coming from, I also ask the bike man how much is her fare,,,, the bike dey tell me Hausa.. deep down i said temi bami....As all this was going on am trying to remove her hand from mine but I couldn't, she hold am as if I owe her money........
I have 1k with me , so I told the bike man to give me 800, as I payed the bike man.... Guess what the woman say....
She said I should give her apomeji abo ( 500) for her medication,,, I was now asking her that how much is apomeji abo, cause I didn't know the actual amount, I even thought it's 200,, not until when I get home before I know it's 500... I couldn't laugh....
So I told her quickly that the money was not mine , saying that, I use scope remove her hand from mine...As I was turning back to leave like this, she grabbed my hand again..
I was shocked, my mind is telling me that, Daniel you don enter this one already.... She told me to please give her the 500....
The money that I just borrowed from loan app yesterday, I don't know how to pay it back....
I told her that the money is not mine even though am not lying, cos it was my brother ( David) that called me to come and give him key with the money before I met the woman..........
When I see that she won't hear , I remove her hand and she look at me with her one eye and frown and hissed and told the bike man to move ...
I was Scared like!!!! even though its kind of funny............
Still scared whenever I remember the incident, cos I don't like having encounter with old women.......

BUT ITS KIND OF FUNNY πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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Waiting is dangerous.........

I attended a youth meeting in my village and our city guests were speaking to us and advising us to wait for our time and not be in a hurry always, the second guest came and was telling us that we should let all hands be on desk that time waits for nobody..
So i asked them how can we wait for something that can't wait for us 🀣🀣🀣🀣


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The story of Emily

The story of Emily
Once upon a time, in a small town, there lived a young woman named Emily. She was known for her beauty and charm, but behind her radiant smile lay a restless heart. Emily was married to a kind and loving man named James, who worked tirelessly to provide for their little family.

Despite having a caring husband and a comfortable life, Emily felt an emptiness deep within her. She craved excitement and adventure, which she believed were missing from her mundane existence. One fateful day, temptation knocked at her door in the form of a charming co-worker named David.

David was everything Emily thought she wanted: charismatic, confident, and willing to take risks. Slowly, a forbidden relationship blossomed between them, and Emily found herself drawn into a web of deceit and betrayal. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but the allure of passion blinded her to the consequences.

As the affair continued, Emily's guilt grew heavier, and her conscience began to torment her. She couldn't bear the thought of hurting James, the man who had stood by her through thick and thin. Deep down, she knew she had made a terrible mistake, but she couldn't find the strength to end the affair.

One day, as fate would have it, the truth came crashing down around Emily. Her husband discovered her infidelity, shattering their once-happy marriage into irreparable pieces. James, heartbroken and devastated, decided to end their relationship, leaving Emily alone to face the consequences of her actions.

Not only did Emily lose her husband, but word of her affair spread throughout the town, tarnishing her reputation. The community that once admired her now whispered and judged her behind closed doors. Her friends turned their backs on her, and even her family struggled to understand how she could have thrown away so much for a fleeting romance.

As the weight of her mistakes bore down on her, Emily faced another devastating blow. She lost her job, as news of her affair had reached her employers and damaged her professional standing. With no income and no support system, she found herself spiraling into a deep pit of regret and despair.

Emily, now alone and penniless, had plenty of time to reflect on her choices. She realized that the excitement and adventure she had craved were mere illusions, and the price she paid for them was far too high. The guilt and remorse consumed her every waking moment, and she yearned for a chance to turn back time and right her wrongs.

In the end, Emily's story serves as a cautionary tale of the consequences of infidelity and the destructive power of temptation. She learned the hard way that true happiness cannot be found in the arms of another but in the trust, love, and commitment of a loyal partner. With the weight of her mistakes forever etched in her heart, Emily vowed to learn from her past and strive to become a better person, even if it meant facing a life of poverty and regret.


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Fortified gone wrong

My neighbour, who recently joined a cult group, went to see baba for fortifications against gunshots penetrating his body.

After baba had fortified him, he decided to put him to the test.

Baba grabbed his AK-47, shot him, and he died.

Tomorrow is his funeral. You all are invited..

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The Electricity Tussle

The Electricity Tussle
Esther's neighborhood had gained a reputation for being one of the toughest and most resistant when it came to paying electricity bills. For years, the residents had stubbornly refused to comply with the National Electricity distributing company's attempts to disconnect their power source. Despite numerous warnings, the neighborhood remained defiant, causing frustration and exasperation among the company's employees.

Determined to finally resolve the issue, the company selected a team of experienced delegates to make one final attempt to disconnect the power supply in Esther's neighborhood. Accompanied by a group of security personnel, the delegates were prepared for a potential confrontation as they arrived at the notorious neighborhood.

As soon as the delegates and security men began their operation, the residents of the neighborhood became visibly agitated. The presence of security personnel sparked fear and tension among the stubborn group, who had never allowed any previous attempts to disconnect their power to succeed.

Just as the delegates thought they were on the verge of success, chaos erupted. The neighborhood's residents released a pack of fierce and ferocious dogs, which surged forward, barking and snarling at the shocked delegates and security personnel. Startled and caught off guard, the security men and delegates found themselves running for their lives, desperately seeking safety from the relentless pursuit of the relentless dogs.

Amid the chaos, the delegate who had been in the process of disconnecting the power supply found himself stranded at the top of a ladder, surrounded by barking dogs. Forced to make a swift decision, he made a daring leap from the height of the ladder, landing safely and making a mad dash for safety.

As the commotion subsided, Esther couldn't help but burst into laughter at the sight of the startled delegates and security men fleeing the neighborhood with the dogs in hot pursuit. The stubborn residents of the neighborhood had once again succeeded in foiling the company's efforts, and the delegates' unexpected escape only added to their victory.

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A SINGLE GIRL LIFE

Once upon a time, there lived a single pretty girl named Sarah. She had been single for so long that she had forgotten what it was like to be in a relationship.
One day, Sarah decided to try online dating. She created a profile and started swiping left and right. After a few days, she matched with a guy named John.
They started chatting and hit it off immediately. They decided to meet up for a date at a fancy restaurant.
Sarah arrived at the restaurant and saw John waiting for her. He looked nothing like his profile picture. He was shorter, bald, and had a beer belly.
Sarah was disappointed but decided to give him a chance. They sat down and ordered their food. As they were eating, John suddenly burped loudly.
Sarah was embarrassed and tried to ignore it. But then John farted loudly.
Sarah couldn't take it anymore and excused herself to go to the bathroom. She called her friend and told her what had happened.
Her friend laughed and said, "Well, at least you know he's not the one!"
Sarah agreed and decided to end the date early. She thanked John for the meal and left.As she walked home, she couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. She realized that being single wasn't so bad after all.
@seyimola.

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Prostitute father

Prostitute father
A Girl returned home after 30 years.

Father: (angry) where the hell have you been all these years?!

Girl: I was working as a prostitute in lagos.

Father: what!!! Get out of my house you whore! I don't want to see your face again do you understand?!

Girl: (crying) before I go dad, I came to give you N10 million cheque, and here is N2 million for my brother. I have also bought a big house in UK for you with everything in it including a ferrari. Bye dad.

Father: what kind of work did you say you were doing?

Girl: crying out loud) A prostitute dad!

Father: come and give daddy a hug, I thought you said you were a 'PROSECUTOR'.

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Girls can do it better

Today, feeling a bit idle and restless, I decided to take on a new challenge and try my hand at something completely out of my comfort zone. I wanted to prove to myself that I could tackle something challenging and unconventional. And so, I set my sights on repairing an old DVD player that had been gathering dust ever since I made the switch to a plasma TV and DSTV.

Now, I am not what you'd call an "electronics whiz." In fact, my knowledge of electronic devices barely extended beyond how to switch them on and off. Yet, I was determined to prove the age-old adage that "what guys can do, females can do better." My brother had a knack for fixing things without any formal training, so I figured I could give it a shot as well.

With a deep breath and a quick online search as my guide, I gingerly disassembled the DVD player, carefully trying to remember where each and every screw went. I tentatively rearranged some wires, tightened some screws, and did my best to follow the jumble of circuitry and components.

Once I felt that I had done all I could, I cautiously stood at a safe distance from the socket and, with apprehension, stretched my arm out in gloved hands to plug the DVD player back in. I honestly had little faith in my handiwork, but I had hoped for the best. However, my optimism was short-lived.

I barely had time to register what was happening before the air was filled with a puff of smoke and a small explosion sounded from the depths of the now very much disassembled DVD player. I burst into laughter at the comical turn of events. It was abundantly clear that my foray into electronics repair had not gone as planned.

As I sat amidst the smoke and wreckage, I couldn't help but chuckle at my failed attempt. While I may not have fixed the DVD player, I certainly had a memorable and amusing experience. Perhaps electronics repair is not my forte, but at least I can say I gave it a shot!

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A Funny Joke Told a Friend, Mr. Funny Bami

A Funny Joke Told a Friend, Mr. Funny Bami
Heard a funny joke today? This one was told to me by my funny friend Bami. His name is Bamidele but we, his folks, call him Bami for short. He's a talented story teller like none I've met before. He told some funny jokes before I started recording.
Below is my favorite from our last night's hangout.

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?" "Of course my child, What can I do for you?" "Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?" "Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie." "You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the hair remover. The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son",he replied. Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?" The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument designed for use by women, but which has never been used." Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father. Next!"

I hope you also find if funny like I did πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£

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Emma the stubborn head

Emma the stubborn head
Once upon a time in a small town, there was a boy named Emma. Emma was known for his stubborn and curious nature. He always had to stick his nose into everyone else's business, much to the annoyance of his friends and family. One day, Emma's curiosity got the best of him.

As usual, Emma was snooping around where he shouldn't have been, poking his head into a neighbor's fence, trying to see what was going on. Little did he know that his overly large head would get him into trouble. Suddenly, his head slipped through the narrow gap between two louvres, and try as he might, he couldn't pull it out. He was well and truly stuck!

His panicked cries echoed through the neighborhood, drawing the attention of everyone within earshot. His family rushed to the scene and tried everything they could think of to free him, but Emma's head was wedged in tight.

Finally, they had to call the fire department. When the firefighters arrived, they struggled to keep a straight face at the sight of Emma with his head stuck in the fence. They tried to reassure him as he cried and wailed, but it was hard to contain their laughter.

After much effort and a lot of pushing and pulling, they finally managed to free Emma from his embarrassing predicament. As he sobbed with relief, Emma realized the seriousness of his actions. His stubbornness and nosy behavior had gotten him into a ridiculous and humiliating situation.

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How fast is Slow?

Abel had grown up believing that the slowest animal on earth was the tortoise. It was what his teacher had always said, and all the students in school accepted it as a fact. But things took an unexpected turn during the last Christmas celebration.

During the festive period, Abel's family had decided to visit the local zoo. They spent the day wandering through the different enclosures, marveling at the diverse creatures from all corners of the globe. Abel was fascinated by the unique traits of each animal and found himself taking note of their behaviors and distinctive features.

As he strolled through the zoo, his curiosity led him to the tortoise cage. The tortoise was quietly moseying about, seemingly unfazed by the presence of onlookers. However, something caught Abel's attention. As he observed the tortoise, it suddenly seemed to pick up its pace and darted towards its little dark pit at an unexpected speed.

Abel stood rooted to the spot, utterly amazed at the sight. The supposedly slowest animal on earth had just demonstrated an unexpected burst of speed. He couldn't believe his eyes. He kept watching, waiting for the tortoise to slow down, but it showed no signs of returning to its leisurely pace.

Excited and bewildered, Abel couldn't wait for school to resume so that he could share his newfound revelation with his classmates. This revelation had turned his understanding of the animal kingdom upside down and he was eager to share this astonishing information with everyone. He learned that sometimes, what we believe to be true may not always match up with reality, and he couldn't wait to impart this valuable lesson to his peers.

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The Cobra I Saw Last Night When I Was Drunk

The Cobra I Saw Last Night When I Was Drunk
Ah, Makurdi nights and questionable decisions, eh? Let's rewind to last night, shall we? I, fresh from a generous helping of "Tashi" (heavy beer), was stumbling home like a lost agama lizard after a dust storm. I took a shortcut through a dirty path. Now, I remember how Mama Catherine had warned me about the "abuku" (big snake) lurking near the stream. Fear, though, had taken a siesta in my beer-addled brain.

Suddenly, my foot snagged on something long and scaly under the moonlight. My heart, already doing a jig for Tipsy McStumbles, went into overdrive. My mind, fueled by fermented barley and paranoia, conjured up visions of fangs dripping with deadly venom. I let out a yelp that would've made a hyena envious, "Abuku! Abuku!"

I scrambled back, eyes wide enough to rival full moons, only to trip over a stray goat (those things are everywhere in bushy paths at night, I swear). Landing face-first in the mud, I saw it – the source of my terror. A coconut branch, bleached white by the moon, lay innocently on the ground, looking vaguely cobra-esque in the dim light.

Laughter, at first nervous and choked, then full-bodied and unrestrained, erupted from me. I lay there, tears streaming down my muddy cheeks, howling at the absurdity of it all. The goat, ever the opportunist, nibbled on my shoe while I cackled like a deranged hyena.

The "abuku" snake incident became legend in my circle. Mama Catherine would recount it with a chuckle, shaking her head at my drunken antics. My friends would use it as ammunition for friendly teasing, forever reminding me of the night I tangoed with a phantom serpent.

And I, well, I learned a valuable lesson – heavy beer and bad lighting are a recipe for hilarious misunderstandings. But hey, at least I can say I faced my fears, even if those fears turned out to be a long-dead coconut branch. I must remember, next time I stumble home after a night of heavy beer, stick to the well-lit streets and maybe consider skipping the scary stories before bed. After all, Makurdi has enough trouble to deal with without adding drunken hallucinations to the mix.

Cheers to my (mis)adventures! May our nights be less boozy and our encounters with snakes and/or evil (real or imagined) be far less dramatic.

Show some love. Gift @unclemayor something as TIPs
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